No thrill for me, only dread

Read this woman's profile on okaycupid. Says the following:


You should message me if

.. you know the thrill of waking up in the morning with the excitement of knowing you HAVE to do something, just have to, from the bottom of your heart. I'd love to talk if you do know this feeling.


And I thought, shit, this woman would not want to know me. I wake up each morning to nothing but dread. Do people really feel like this woman? Is it bullshit or do they make themselves believes their lives are exhilarating?

Hopefully no more dating this week...

I panicked before the date because I could not locate on the Internet this place Julia wanted to go to called "Athens". It was a coffee shop. I called, left a message, e-mailed. She did e-mail me a better physical description right before I left, but wasn't sure where it was.

It turns out it was "Athans" not "Athens". I said what threw me was it was spelled with an "a" not an "e', and she said, "Oh, I spelled right." (But not really.)

Julia was a Russian. Said she was 45 on her profile, but I learned later on the date that she LIED and was really 47. but who knows, maybe she is even older. How could I tell if she had already established that she was a liar.

Her prospect as a mate was officially over about 2 minutes into the date when she told me she had removed her profile on okaycupid, the site where we met on, because all these "20 year old's and African Americans" were writing her. I stated very clearly on my profile that I am looking for a "non-bigoted" person. On this website my profile is relatively short. I've noticed that some women really don't read my profile at all. Maybe they just look at my photo, my race, and my town and say "Yah" or "Nay."

Though she was a racist, I had already paid for over $15 for a lemonade (for me), tea for her, and two awful custard like deserts with a French name that tasted like a food experiment gone tragically wrong. She had only half eaten have if hers. I thought to myself, that's $2.50 down the tubes.

She was from the former Soviet Union so I took this opportunity to pick her brains. I was surprised to learn that her life in St. Petersburg which was then Leningrad, as she explained it, far more closely resembled Soviet propaganda then the typical Western view of Russia, the backward nation. Was she a Communist? I suspect not. Was she privileged. Yes, absolutely. I don't think most people in the Soviet Union were afforded the privilege of traveling like she did within the Soviet Union. She had been to all the Soviet Republics, which span a large part of Asia.

I wonder what she thought of Jews. I wonder if she even saw in my profile that I was Jewish. Maybe if she had said something anti-Semitic I would have taken her up on her subtle suggestion to take her to a Sushi restaurant, then exploited her. But it's just a fantasy. Who wants to fuck a 47 year old Commie bigot?

Same old blah...

Yesterday morning I looked at my work and freaked. Got about an hour done before the anxiety and despair became intolerable. My perineum was irritating the hell out of me. I wanted to masturbate to get some relief but I couldn't because that could make it worse. Decided to do my lease with my public housing authority, which takes hours because they want all this financial info and copies, blah, blah. Thought once I get my lease out of the way I could do my work. Did the lease. Solicited some 36 year old on fastcupid. She liked Fante (that was my intro line), wasn't bad looking but had eyebrows like Leonard Brezhnev. I knew this would bother me if I ever met her, but I solicited her anyways because she was 36, and a 36 year old can reproduce. Decided that tomorrow if I can get 5 hours of work done I could drink afterward. My perineum was killing me. I decided to masturbate. Big ordeal. Requires 20 minutes of icing down afterward to mitigate the swelling. I tried to work again. It was fucking useless. I decided that I would need to drink today in order to face my work tomorrow. The 36 year old had written me back. Wanted to engage me in some kinda fucking ridiculous e-mail dialog. You got to be kidding me. There are million boring women out there, some of whom will go out with me without giving me a pain in the ass. Why waste my time. I avoided the e-mail dialog and asked her for coffee. Put odds against her saying yes, but who knows and who cares. The masturbation had not made me worse, it had made me better, so I got greedy and masturbated again. This was risky but it didn't screw me up. I took a shower and got something to drink so I can face today.

Yes, I'm angry and bitter, what are you going to do about it?

I don't mind buying women food on dates. But there is no money coming in and I'm actually reaching into my savings to fund my dating activities.

This Friday I felt so angry at myself for inviting this woman to Chinese food across the street from the Dunkin Donut's we were to meet at. It cost me $30.00. She was what I would term as a longshot. (I mean what do I have in common with an Israeli woman who is into "spirituality" and does free-style dancing? NOTHING.) But I it was 6:30, I knew she was coming from work and hadn't eaten. So I asked her if she was hungry.

I should have not bought her any food on general principal. How come her gray hairs were not in the photograph? How come she looked ten years older than in her photograph? I could've handled the gray hair. I just don't like the deception. All this woman was entitled to was a coffee. I have to stop being so goddamn nice or I'm going to go broke a lot faster.

Just another hack Urologist...

I bet you that my finger marks are still etched into the padding of the Urologist's examining table. I had been gripping it for dear life as he checked my prostate. I thought to myself, perhaps this is what torture feels like. If I did not grit my teeth, my growling would probably have been screaming. And it was interminable. How long could it take to check someone's prostate? Jesus. I think he was at it for at least a minute. And after all that prodding and poking and effort, he finds nothing! How can that hurt so much and there not be something wrong? My GP told me it was enlarged. This is my new GP. She was much smarter than my old GP. She seemed so on the ball! But why does she send me to this hack Urologist? I told the Urologist my symptoms. He literally said he was stumped. He said he wanted to see the report of the CT Scan, but I knew he wasn't going to find anything on it. Two General Surgeons had looked at it and found nothing.

I came home depressed, demoralized, and really worn out from the exam. Called my old man. Bitched and moaned. He suggested I research the problem on the Internet. I put up a huge amount of resistance, but reluctantly agreed. Within a half an hour of research I could describe what I had in doctor language: Post-Ejaculatory Perineal Pain. And I am not the only person in the universe who has this either. Other Urologists know about this. This Urologist should not have been stumped. There is a good chance I have something called (CP/CPPS) Chronic Prostatitis/Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome. I didn't look too deeply into this, but it seems to be one of those fuzzy things like IBS (that I also have), that doctors really don't understand and don't really know how to treat, but is thought to be nervous system related and associated with stress. I thought about calling some local hospitals and asking if they had any doctors familiar with CP/CPPS, but I know from experience that that's like being on the Price is Right. All you get is "Come on Down!" I looked for Boston area doctors that have done research on CP/CPPS and found a guy at Brigham and Women's. The great thing about this hospital is that they list the doctor's e-mail address right on their web page. So I e-mailed the guy and told him my problem and he wrote back telling me to make an appointment. So I will. This will be the third Urologist I've seen about this. At least now I could actually identify the anatomical part that is causing me pain. So instead of saying "Duhh, the area below the scrotum," I could say "perineal membrane" and "ischiocavernosus muscle" like I'm some kinda smartass.

My weekend of dating disaster

On Friday I risked my neck walking on the ice to the train to meet this woman near a university in the Boston area. She was an English prof. It was at 4:30. I'm sure she worked at the nearby university. (It was very convenient for her.) I don't mind, I really don't. I always ask the woman to set the time and location of the date so that they feel safe.

When I met her she tells me she's off because her grandmother died. She said she almost called off the date because of her grandmother's death. Okay, I completely relate and understand. But what I cannot understand is why she tells me later, in the course of the convo that she is going ice skating later on. This just doesn't jive. If she didn't want to be on the date, why didn't she fucking call it off so I did not have to risk breaking my neck and piss away my whole evening? What little date there was, was typical what-do-you-do-for-work, do-you-have-any-siblings, do-you-rent-or-own, blah, blah nauseating bullshit. And it was in Starbucks. I fucking hate Starbucks! While her specialty was not American Literature, I was very unimpressed by her grasp of Melville.

After that date I needed to drink. It was the only way to get through the dread and loathing of the dates on Saturday and Sunday. This is the first time I've been driven to drink in years. I decided I will need to cut down to no more than one date a week or I will need to either drink on a regular basis or seek psychiatric treatment.

Saturday's date was wonderful. I'll call her J. For the first time in so long I felt like I was having a normal conversation with a normal human being. There was not one ounce of bullshit in our conversation. She asked me almost right away what I was looking for -- and I told her, "A life partner." She was so much like me. For starters, she also hated Starbucks. She said she missed the 70s. She truly understood the 70's and how mad the world has become since. I rarely date women my own age, but I felt a miracle had happened and I had found my hippie-youth soul-mate. And she had nice, prominent, femme cheekbones. I told her I liked her cheekbones. Big breasts are all well and good, but I'll take big cheekbones over big breasts any day of the week. I kept thinking about kissing her cheek, real, real slow, and then kissing her lips for approximately forever. J even broke the cardinal unwritten rule of dating by expressing an interest in seeing me again. She didn't have to do this. I was so going to contact her and did so the next day. Left a message on her cell, and what the fuhh ... never called me back. This drove me to drink again, but I'm over it now. I've regrouped, grit my teeth and prepared once again to face the horror of existential crisis. I'll send her an e-mail just to confirm that she got my voice-mail, but well, this doesn't look good...

Sunday's date was just, well, really weird. I'm pretty sure she double-booked me. It was originally tentatively set for what she said "afternoonish." But then was upgraded to my choice of four or four-thirty. I chose four. She didn't confirm until Saturday evening. Sort of hate that, but have seen way worse. She never volunteered a cell number. I fucking hate that because it gives you a sense that you're going to be stood up. She was 20 minutes late. She apologized several times, but never gave me an excuse. I guess I should respect her for not giving me a load of bullshit. She never took her coat off or even her scarf off. Her movements were jerky like a bird. She seemed horribly uncomfortable, almost as though she were shaking -- perhaps she was. She was terribly secretive, got the sense that she was involved in something illicit. All that I got out of her was that she was a "consultant." I was smart enough not to push it beyond that. We actually talked for hours, and went an hour into her super bowl, which I knew she wanted to watch as she was a sports nut. I think I had finally penetrated her defenses. She was actually a very good-looking woman, late 30's but looked much younger. If she didn't seem so damn skiddish and defensive I would have told her this. She was smart too and obviously very mysterious. I had the feeling that there was something substantial about her. She might have liked me. Who knows... I thought about contacting her again, but was awoken the next day with the horrible nightmare of contacting her again. (I am not making this up.) I think it really put me off that she gave me a slight pain in the ass to meet her and never gave me a cell phone number. I cannot deal with people who need absolute control.

No longer eating like a king

I used to get around $30.00 a month in food stamps. And then for some odd reason about six months ago they say they're raising it to around $70.00. And I thought to myself, O holy crap, they must have made a mistake (I've seen them do this before), but who cares, I will get to eat like a king, at least for a month. I ate like a king for 6 months. Food stamps covered my entire dietary staple of eggs, bacon, chicken liver, potatos and heavy cream. It might have even covered at least some of my lowfat yogurt intake as well. But a man can survive without lowfat yogurt. A man could probably live on just eggs, chicken liver and potatos alone for years before dying from a heart attack or terminal disease.

Recently I got this letter form Welfare (though they don't call it that anymore)

Dear RICHARD RICHARDS

Your Bay State CAP food assistance benefits will go to $55.00 on 02/02/2009 beacause your household countable income has changed.

What's funny is that my household countable income has not gone up or changed, and they failed to say that there's a decrease. Do you know what happens when you try to call welfare and try to ascertain what is going on? They hang up on you.

Someday the welfare state will cease to exist. It's only a reminant of what it used to be. People think Obama's going to save the world. But they're living in a dreamland.

I will rejoice the day when the welfare state is dead, for that will mean that all the pissy motherfuckers who work for welfare will be FIRED. In additional, all the right-wing assholes will no longer be able to complain about it. I will gladly give up my pittence of welfare state hand-out to see this day.

Remembering M

I will call her M because I'm pretty sure her last name started with M. I do not remember her first name and this is really bothering me. I was 18. I met M at Mclean Hospital in their behavioral disorder unit, Upham 1. Mclean is a famous mental hospital. Sylvia Plath wrote about it in The Bell Jar. Susanna Kaysen wrote about it in Girl, Interrupted. I never knew why they put me in this unit. I suffered from depression, not a behavioral disorder. Most of the people in the unit were young women with eating disorders. Most had bulimia. M had anorexia. She was around my age, weighed around 50 or 60 pounds. She was very short. She was emaciated and a horrible sight, but one of the nicest persons I remember knowing.

I saw very little of M. I think she spent a lot of time off the unit, I don't know where. When she was on the unit she seemed to spend most of the time in the Quiet Room. It is a lot scarier than it sounds, at least for the behavioral disorder unit. There were no doors to the Quiet Room. No staff were posted to watch her. The behavioral unit itself was unlocked. Any patient could have walked out the door at any time. Nobody was forced to do anything in this unit, but there was sort of a subtle form of coercion that went on. I remember that she was supposed to eat ice cream. I'm sure that the arrangement was that if she didn't eat what they wanted her to eat, they didn't give her any privileges and made her hang out in Quiet Rooms all day. She took hours eating the ice cream. It just became a drippy mess. I don't know if she ever finished it. And whatever calories she consumed from the ice cream were probably burnt off from the exercising she did, which I'm sure she was not supposed to be doing. M had a tube surgically implanted in her stomach. I'm not sure exactly how it worked. Maybe when she left the unit they fed her through the tube. I never asked any details and I had no real interest in knowing.

M had contempt for the eating disorder specialist because she was unusually thin. She viewed this as hypocrisy. M didn't see why she should follow the advice of this woman when she looked anorexic herself. M did have a point. The eating disorders specialist (who I actually personally liked) was very thin -- and I agree with M that she was too thin. The eating disorders specialist probably suffered from eating disorders herself. Personally, I think that it's good to have a person who suffers from the same problem that you have helping you, but I completely understand how M didn't see things this way, and I admired M's "bad attitude." I also have a bad attitude. I don't feel comfortable with people with good attitudes.

When I left the unit after my stay of about two months, M hugged me. It was horrible. It was like hugging a skeleton. I bumped into M's parent's about six months later. They were actually very nice people but extremely deluded. I asked about M. They told me she was still battling anorexia. And I thought to myself, that battle was lost a long time ago, if it was ever even started.

A few years later I received word from someone who knew M that she had died. I had already written M off as dead. I didn't feel grief, only anger at M for being weak and not trying hard enough.

Recently I have been thinking about M, and now I realized that I passed judgment on her. I blame others all the time for passing judgment on me. Nadia asserted that there was nothing wrong with me, and only laziness was preventing me from getting a real job. It is only an illusion that there is me the "human being," and I am separate from the others -- the "proto-humans" who judge. We're all passing judgment. We're all assholes.

Now I understand that M's disease was too powerful for M to overcome or even acknowledge. M's death was not caused by her weakness or her lack of motivation. M was just a victim of a Godless, imperfect universe. That's all, and nothing more.

M was an adult woman. If I had been M's father now, I would have asked her what she wanted. If she didn't want treatment, I would have had the fucking tube taken out of her stomach and tried to spend as much time as possible with her for the rest of her days. I'm probably passing judgment on M's parents right now. It's so easy to do this.

Driven to drink by dating

Okay, had my date with the English prof. Couldn't get any work done. Spent the time before the date at 4:30 trying to move my bowels on account of my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

It was treacherous walking to the train. I thought I was going to break my neck twice. At one one point I was so terrified of slipping on the ice that I squatted down and walked with my ass about a foot off the ground. But I survived. I made it to the date.

She was a very nice person, very attractive, yet utterly alien to me. I am not a member of the bourgeoisie. Even if I was, I have nothing in common with these people beyond growing up in the same places. The whole experience of trying to pass myself off as one of them is disconserting and unnerving.

I somehow survived walking home from the train without breaking any bones or getting hit by any cars, as I try to walk in the street to avoid slipping on the ice of the sidewalk. I could have tried to get a few hours of work done, yet I had two more dates to do over the weekend. There was no way I could concieve of going on these dates while sober. So when I got back I took a drive to the liquor store. I could have bought the the 40 ounce bottle of Budweiser for $3.50, but in true alcoholic fashion I opted to buy the 40 ounce Miller for $1.75 instead. Had they had some cheaper malt liquor I probably would have bought that. Thank God they didn't have 64 ounce bottles. At least I filled my belly with my standard supper of 4 eggs and 4 strips of bacon before drinking.

I won't get any work at all done this weekend with all the fucking dating smack in the middle of the day. This is nothing less than torture and it's just not working.

Very few things in life drive me to drink. It's time for me to rethink the way I'm going about dating. I've decided on a temporary measure of minimizing my dating to only once a week. More than this is going to jeopardize my sanity.

I hate it

I keep forgetting that I'm no longer a Fast Cupid blogger. I'm my own man now and I can say whatever I please. I no longer have an image to maintain.

The truth is I only have dread and loathing about today's date, 3 hours and 14 minutes away. I cannot honestly say that for one second I thought this woman could provide me with a family. I'm out of my mind to think this, and she is completely naive to think that available men at my age, who aren't ugly, who aren't stupid aren't broken.

I dread tomorrow's date too. I didn't realize this until later, but she put down in her selection of races: Caucasian, Hispanic, Native American. Why not Asians and blacks? What the fuck is with her? If Denzel Washington was willing to have sex with her, what would she say to him, I don't have sex with blacks? I don't understand this racial preference stuff. It makes me nervous.

And I dread Sunday's date. Her photos are blurred. She is trying to go incognito. She wears big glasses like Yoko Ono. She looks like she could be Japenese. Hell, maybe she is Yoko Ono.

Oh fuck me. I hate dating. I am seriously thinking about posting a personal ad on one of those "poly" websites. I will have to "share" my woman without about ten other goddmaned freaks but at least I might get sex and wouldn't have to put up with all this goddamned bullshit and the fucking questions that I really have no good answers for. I feel like an imposter. I am just a poor shmuck on disability.

The English Prof

I have three dates lined up starting with Friday. Women would have nothing to do with me in my youth, but now I am in demand and like a kid in a candy store. Almost all of these women are professionals, some, like Jenn, my Friday date have PhDs. Jen is an English professor. She probably works for the prestigious college in the Boston area that I'm meeting her at in Starbucks. Jen is a FastCupid date. She seems very interested in me, but I get the sense that she is expecting me to be a well-to-do person because I live in a well-to-do town and even went on vacation recently in one of the richest places in the country. Jen is 37. I would not say that she is beautiful, but you can see dimples when she smiles, and I cannot resist the dimple. I have no doubt that she is vastly intelligent. PhDs are very difficult to obtain. I like smart women.

I think in the final analysis she is a long-shot. But let me let you in on my fantasy, and it's really not sexual or even terribly romantic, but bourgeois. I fantasize that perhaps she will see something about me emotionally or intellectually that she cannot resist, and she will accept my economic failings, or at least believe in me, as I do. (I have never given up on myself.) I fantasize about her being my wife and her baring me a baby girl, hopefully with cute dimples like her.

No more courtesy for you!

On some dating sites like OkayCupid you have little to no ability to block people soliciting you who are outside of your mileage range. I don't like to date people more than 20 miles away. Why?

1.) I get so anxious driving on the highway that after about 20 miles you must pry my cold dead hands from the steering wheel with crow bar in order to get me out of the car.

2.) I make too little money to afford four dollar gas again and can't afford another car. I can't afford my own car. My mother gave me hers.

Women who I would ordinarily date but are too far away I try to honestly tell them that I would date them, but they are too far. They never believe me. They always think I am bullshitting them. There was this totally beautiful hot blonde in New Hampshire that thought I was trying to bullshit her. I honestly told her that I wasn't trying to bullshit her, that if she lived nearer to me I would be out of my mind not to be interested in meeting her. I even told her that driving made me anxious, though I didn't tell her about my poverty.

After this recent exchange on JDate (the armpit of the dating universe), I decided to stop responding to women as a courtesy, when they lived too far away. Let them fuck themselves.

To Rhode Island Woman:

Hi,

I think you're the first woman on Jdate who has written me who actually interests me. You look really hot too!

I do not date women who are more than 20 miles from me home. It's just too hard for me, and there are a number of reasons.

I've just set the mileage in the my Jdate preferences to 20 miles. It should have been set properly when I obtained a membership. This is my error. I apologize.


-Ed

From Rhode Island Woman:


I guess I misunderstood what you meant by "low mileage". I do appreciate your reply, although I find it hard to understand since I had a Berlin-SF relationship for a number of years and you don't even need a visa/passport to enter RI!

That reference to 'low-mileage" was from my profile which was intended as an obvious metaphore. It was very snippy. I don't understand why anyone would get so snippy. Even if I was rejecting her (and I wasn't), you just come across as such a loser if you react like a pissy asshole when you are rejected. I didn't respond to her any further. She wasn't worthy of a response.

I am a loser but at least I try not to act like one. Losers disgust me.

Last Poem

This is the last love poem I wrote for Nancy. Never got to read it to her. I don't think she would've given a shit anyway. She was only concerned with the material world. Never even said good bye. I really need to delete her contact info. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is that I know women like her, and I know that sometimes they come back before leaving you again. They come back because they can't find what they're looking for, because it does not exist.

Dream

You came into my life like a fever dream.
If the fever comes back I hope it will make the world go away.
And put you in my arms
And let me taste your lips.

Please God Let Me Have the Good Witch

I have been trying to arrange a date with Michelle for about a month. Another OkayCupid woman. She was very courteous in her messages, seemed interested in me, and did not bust my balls by making me do a screening phone call (which I refuse to do anymore).

Our first attempt at a date I canceled because I felt sick. Then she went on a cruise for a few weeks. And then we set another date but she canceled because she was sick. Yesterday we arranged another date. And there was a fucking minor blizzard. I laid a fallback plan on her. I would not drive -- I would run to a train and meet her in an alternate location in Cambridge near where she was. She would take a taxi. It worked. I made the train -- we finally met. And thank God, because I am going away too.

I liked Michelle right away. She knew I was uncomfortable in the Starbucks just by looking at me. (I sort of fucking hate Starbucks -- and I was a little nauseous, and the rancid odor of their coffee was getting to me). We walked in the mall in search of another location. The first thing she said as we were walking was "I'm from New Jersey, so if you need to make any jokes about New Jersey you should get them out of your system now." And I knew I liked this woman. I told her that "after watching 'The Sopranos,' I no longer make jokes about New Jersey."

Her eyes were almost black, black hair -- she wore black -- a real witch -- my kinda woman! Short. Nice chubby cheeks. Big breasts. Chubby body. (That doesn't bother me at all.) She designated in her profile that she didn't want children, yet she's young enough. It continues to baffle me why people don't want children.

Oh, did I mention that we went to the same school and had the same major too!

I made a few errors on the date, but I don't think any of them were show-stoppers. I put 3 to 1 odds on getting a second date with her. But today when I called her on the phone, too late -- 8:45 p.m., she said it wasn't a good time to talk, had to go to sleep. Said she'd call me tomorrow. There was something about the tone of her voice that seemed not right -- I decided to change the odds of my getting a second date with her to 2 to 1 against. I hope that if she's not interested she'll save me a little humiliation and not call.

Michelle is one of those rare women who interests me. I hope Michelle is interested in me, but I will try not to beat myself up if she isn't.

I was right

I was right to remove my blog on Fast Cupid. I was overexposed. A 37 year old English prof with a Ph.D recently winked me -- and she has cute dimples -- (How could you resist a woman with dimples? It's just not possible.)

When I was telling the gory details of my screwed up prostate on the Fast Cupid blog I couldn't find a woman with a GED, let alone a Ph.D. I got no winks at all!

I so made the right decision to delete that blog from existence.

The preemptive post date e-mail rejection

I went out on a date on Thursday evening. Met her on OkayCupid. I had low expectations going into the date. She seemed ... well ... a little too waspy and too straight for me. Also, she was 7 years younger than me, beautiful, and had no children. This is the type of woman that had a huge pool of men available to her who make a lot more money than I do. I was probably just a curiosity to her.

I knew within about the first two minutes of meeting her that it probably wasn't going to work out between us, but I always play the hand, hoping to find some connection. In this case she chose a noisy bar to meet and communication was somewhat of a challenge. At the end of the date she extended her hand. I asked her for a hug even though I knew I wasn't ever going to meet her again. I always do this. It is the politician inside me. Also, I think it is sort of a nicer way of ending things.

As soon as I get home I find this letter in my inbox from her:

Hi Ed,

Hope you got home ok.
It was nice to meet you this evening ... always cool to meet new people.

All the best to you in your pursuits.
Katha

All the best to you in your pursuits? This is the first preemptive rejection e-mail I've ever gotten. Is she out of her goddamn mind? I wasn't interested in her. I have had younger women than her, who were vastly more intelligent and beautiful than her interested in me. And the reason is, I am a smart guy and a rebel and women find this sexy. I don't know what the fuck she take me for? It's really insulting. Was it the hug? What the fuck was with this woman?

I wrote her back saying I was "very happy to have met you." This would have been true had she not turned out to be such an asshole.

Apology to Pacdaddy

I haven't been blogging here for some time, and the reason why is because I have been at Fast Cupid blogging. Recently I decided to stop blogging at Fast Cupid. Many people at Fast Cupid have sent me communications asking why, and they always start with "did you stop blogging because of Pacdaddy?" Pacdaddy is another blogger at Fast Cupid who became very upset with me when I questioned his belief that Cultural Anthropology used experimental research. In response, Pacdaddy started a counter blog to my blog, accusing me of Nazism, sexism, bestiality, all sorts of ugly things.

I have always denied that I stopped blogging at Fast Cupid because of Pacdaddy. But that's not the complete truth. A very large man who looked a lot like Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero from "The Sopranos," barged into my apartment one day, attempted to flush my head down my toilet, and told me that very bad things could happen to me if I continue to disrespect The Pacdaddy. I later learned that Pacdaddy is a member of one of the largest organized crime families in New Jersey.

Upon further examination of the field of Cultural Anthropology, I learned that Pacdaddy was completely correct, that I was completely wrong, and that the disrespect he showed towards Maggie Meade was completely warranted. Furthermore, I am a Nazi, a sexist, and my girlfriend is a sheep.

This is the full story of what happened, and a formal apology to Pacdaddy.

The Fastcupid.com Porno Connection

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Suck mine, leaches

I've decided to remove all the images attached to my blog posts off my site. I don't see why I should support the thousands and thousands of people leaching my bandwidth. Fuck all of you.

If I could get away with it I would've replaced the images you were leaching with disgusting and garish pornographic images just to get back at you. Consider yourself lucky. Next time, make a copy of the image you want, and put it on your own fucking server. Leach scum.

X Files: Don't Believe Anymore

I consider myself a pretty big fan of the X files, and I just want to say that "The X Files: I Want to Believe" sucked pretty badly and that you should just save your money and get it on Netflix or whatever. Trust me, it sucked.

I think there was a good chance they were using doubles for Scully and Moulder during the kissing scene towards the end. That would explain why they used such awkwardly weird camera angles during the kiss, where you couldn't really make out their faces while they kissing. I DON'T BELIEVE it was them really kissing. Like the kiss, this whole movie felt fake and bullshit.

Tila Tequila Rejected, No Way!

Okay, I admit it, I'm a banal idiot and I enjoy "A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila". Getting that out out of the way, What the fuck kind of shit is this show trying to pull? Are you really expecting me to believe that Kristy, after winning the key to Tila's heart is gonna just turn down her shot of love due to emotional shit or whatever...

I think it's time for us to use a little critical thinking here. This is what I think is going on. I think it was in the script for Kristy to reject Tila. The reason being, if Tila and Kristy live happily forever after then there wouldn't be a Shot of Love 3 now would there?

Watching the reunion show I was surprised to see that Chad was not serving time in prison for Assault and Battery against Bo. This is why I think Chad never went to prison: Because Chad's assault on Bo was not real. It was staged. Remember when some unknown person out of nowhere in the back row said to Bo something like, "Are you going to let Chad insult your mother like that?" This was a deliberate plant in order to stage a Jerry Springer movement. There was even a chair thrown: A Geraldo moment.

Let's assume the show is real form a moment. I always wondered why anyone would desire Tila. Such skinny chicken-legs on her and what does this woman actually possess in terms of charm or intelligence or humor or anything else that would make one fight like hell for this very ambiguous prize of obtaining the key to her heart. I always wonder if the cast is being paid for this. Probably the union mandates that they get the minimum. Perhaps there is more to Tila that I don't see on TV, but she seems like a very shallow person to me.

My favorite scene in this series was the shots they did of various things that you don't normally drink, like Tabasco sauce and lemon juice, and everyone started puking. It was like a surreal nightmare. I thought that was a riot. The producers of the show also seemed to have this grotesque fascination with pig-vagina eating contests. I thought it was a riot when Jay ("Jersey") had a wig-out when he got rejected.

Most likable of this year's cast? That's a no-brainer: George. I think George's Buddie, Scotty looked like a nice guy too. At first I thought that Glitter was a primadona, but then I started to think she was pretty cool, despite how the show tried to portray her as an emotional train wreck. The identical twins, Dominic and Greg seemed pretty cool too. Unfortunately they got axed early. Tila has a pattern of getting rid of the blacks fast.

Hottest looking woman? I think Lili is sexy as hell, but there were a number of beautiful women on the cast. Too bad Lili got the boot early.

Okay, Tila Tequila, you keep churning out the drek, and I will loyally keep eating it up, real or not.

Top Werner Herzog Picks

I have become a huge fan of director Werner Herzog since gaining access to most of his films through Netflix. Herzog movies are art that can be enjoyed by anyone. There is never any big esoteric shit that someone like me who was deprived of oxygen at birth can not understand or at least grasp to some degree. Herzog movies are art for people who don't enjoy art. Some of his movies are both action/adventure and art. See "Aguirre, Wrath of God" and "Rescue Dawn" below.

My Herzog top picks are below. Note that I have not yet seen all his documentaries. Some day I will be rich and be able to afford the Boxed Set.

"Aguirre, Wrath of God" 1972 Feature Film

"The Great Ecstasy of Woodcarver Steiner" 1976 Documentary

"Stroszek" 1977 Feature Film

"Little Dieter Needs to Fly" 1997 Documentary

"Grizzly Man" 2005 Documentary

"Rescue Dawn" 2006 Documentary

"Rescue Dawn" is a fictionalized account of Dieter Dengler's experience of being captured by the NVA during the American war with Vietnam. "Little Dieter Needs to Fly" is a documentary about Dengler's experience. Both are fucking great! There are scenes in both of these films which I will never forget. I read in a book about Herzog that Herzog complained that he was being labeled as some kind of pro-Vietnam war person because of the Dengler documentary. I think both Dengler films are anti-war war, even if they deal with a pilot who volunteered. Neither of these films are really about war, they are about pathos and loneliness. I consider myself very fortunate to have been able to see "Rescue Dawn" on the big screen. It was probably the best hour and a half of 2006 for me.

Some Herzog movies I really don't like. Sometimes I believe he really misses his mark. Some are not easy viewing and aren't in English and don't have English dubbing like "Even Dwarfs Started Small". I don't dislike foreign films, but it is sometimes so much work for me to read the subtitles fast enough and watch the movie that it becomes an annoyance. What I really need to do is learn German.

Vikas Kapoor, Vampire

Vikas Kapoor, President and CEO of the Allied Interstate collection agency, a.k.a IQOR, a.k.a Intellirisk Management Corp. is really a vampire. One of Vikas' fangs has been circled in red.

Allied Interstate

I have been traumatized lately by faulty data that Trans Union reported to one of my creditors. This has left me frazzled and has hurt me financially. Trans Union asserts that they are still conducting their "investigation."

This has left me on edge and frazzled. Recently this company who says they are Allied Interstate has been calling me. They ask if I am Dickie Richards. I ask what this is about. They insist on me stating that I am Dickie Richards in order for them to divulge any information about why they are calling. There is no way I'm going to do that. After a long struggle I managed to obtain a number that I can call them at:

1-866-207-8333

Call this number. I hope that you will call it often in fact. The first thing they do is ask for a Capital One credit card number. I called Capital One. They say they are not affiliated with Allied Interstate and know nothing about this number. I asked Allied Interstate to give me the number of a human being at Capital One that I can speak to to verify that they are who they are. They simply refuse to do that but they do not refuse to stop calling me.

Allied Interstate has a seriously bad attitude as well. The most recent person who called me claimed that I was being "evasive." Funny hearing that from people who won't even tell you why they're calling. They have left me so frazzled and crazy after these confrontational phone calls that I have had to take anti-anxiety medication. I have found myself screaming at them at the top of my lungs and yelling profanities at them. This is not me. I haven't wigged like this in a good decade.

There are numerous posts on the Internet about this company being a collection agency. I read in cardreport.com that collection agents can't talk to you about the debt unless you acknowledge that you are the person they're requesting. This would be consistent with Allied Interstate's behavior. However their snarkiness calls their legitimacy into serious question. I asked them for their address. After what felt like pulling teeth, they coughed this up:

Allied Interstate
3000 Corporate Exchange Dr
Columbus, Ohio 43231-7689

I cannot find this in the business directories that I looked. When I asked them who the president was they said that they don't give out that information, that I should obtain it from the Internet. When I asked what their website was, they said they had none. Why is the president of the company a secret? The president of a company should be public information. Why don't they have a website? And most importantly, why do they say they are affiliated with Capital One when Capital One categorically denies this?

I reported Allied Interstate to the FTC and will be reporting them to the Massachusetts Attorney General. I don't really think that Federal and State Government gives a flying fuck about consumers, so I don't expect much.

I have made the decision that I am not going to risk jeopardizing myself by volunteering any personal information at all to these motherfuckers. I'm just going to have to put up with them calling me and annoying me, and perhaps they will fuck me later down the road and report some faulty credit info. It's the price you pay for this lovely system of unregulated capitalism. You can't win, even if you're the kind of person like me who always pays his bills on time. I am not even going to pick up the phone. For now on I screen all calls.

If anyone has any experience with Allied Interstate please post a comment.

Dickie Richards: Go Hill

Dickie supports Hillary Clinton.

Listen

Dickie Richards: Goldwater Girl

Dickie supports The Goldwater Girl.

Listen

Dickie Richards on McDonald's put to video

The Dickie Richards McDonald's thing has been put to video by Shawn Lennon. I think he did a good job:

http://www.youtube.com/user/lennonvideo

Sushi Hell

I had Sushi (technically Sashimi) and a number of other things on Tuesday, at Sushi Man. I believe it was the Monk Fish liver that severely put me out of commission, because something seemed off about it. The dish is called Ankimo. It is supposed to be steamed. Maybe their idea of steaming a Monk Fish liver is to blow on it a bit and hope whatever deadly pathogens exist on it will keel over and die. It hit me 7 hours later. I had to go to the emergency room. They rigged me up to an IV and put me in this freezing fucking room for what seemed like 3 hours. I am sure that these crazy medical people had the air conditioning on. These people are insane, although I do commend the Newton-Wellesley Hospital people for bringing me back from the dead.

I can't go back to Sushi Man anymore. Not after nearly meeting my maker. But the thing is, I loved Sushi Man. It gave my existence purpose. Now I am back to dealing with the existential dilemma of life.

I mean, Jesus Christ, is it so hard to find good Japanese food in the Boston area that doesn't fucking kill ya?

Dickie Richards: Judgement

Dickie gets judged.

Listen

Dickie Richards: McDonald's

You deserve a skull fuck today.

Listen

Dickie Richards: Bigot Damage Control Kit

Dickie sells the Bigot Damage Control Kit:

Listen

Dickie Richards: Deaf

Dickie responds to demands that he apologize to the deaf:

Listen

Ceding from Red Sox Nation

The Red Sox are 2007 World Champions. They swept the Rockies in the most boring World Series ever conceived by man.

Then the Red Sox came home to jam up traffic in Boston for half the day for a parade. Idiots are said have been reserving their spot on the parade route since 3:00 a.m.

The duck boats carrying the Red Sox rolled by blasting confetti. Who's going to clean that shit up, I thought. The Red Sox? No. I don't think so. More likely The City of Boston is outsourcing this to some cleaning outfit that pays poor foreigners minimun wage. Who's going to pay for the huge police presence? The Red Sox? Don't think so...

Some excited, grizzly old man in Boston tells a reporter, "We won!"

"We" didn't win shit, old man. They [The Red Sox] won. They are a privately owned team. You had nothing to do with their victory, and you will not reap any rewards from it. You had a lot to do with all the money the Red Sox raked in though.

A reporter talks about how great the Red Sox are and attributes it to the diversity of the team. He says now there are Latinos and African Americans. What planet has this guy been on? There have always been Latinos on the team. Does the name Louis Tiant ring a bell? While he's right about there always being a lack of African Americans on the team, there is currently no African Americans on the team! There hasn't been a single African American on the team for three years. He might be including Ortiz as an African American because of his dark skin. But Ortiz is from the Dominican Republican. Not the United States. He is not an African American. Is Ortiz even a naturalized American citizen? I don't know? Does the chucklehead reporter know? Doubt it. At a minimum, I think it is an incredible stretch to include Ortiz as an African American. While it's true that the team now has a greater representation from other religious/ethnic groups such as Jewish and Native American, they have less African Americans than they've ever had. The Red Sox always had one or two token African Americans. Now they have none, and NOBODY is talking about it. In fact we're pretending that there are African Americans on the team. It's amazing.

But look at all that the Red Sox are doing for kids. Poor inner city kids get to watch free Red Sox games in the "Dunkin' Donuts Dugout" section of the bleachers. They get to wear oversized Dunkin' Donuts tea-shirts, with a big stupid Dunkin' Donuts billboard over their head. And they get to be on TV too. They're live participants in the Dunkin' Donuts' advertising campaign. Dunkin' Donuts and the Red Sox really restore my faith in humanity.

I missed perhaps two or three Red Sox games in the 2007 season. Perhaps in 2008 I'll miss some more.

Evidence That Compustar Cheated Me

In the following, I will submit physical evidence in support of the fact that Compustar Inc., in Waltham, MA, cheated me. I will do this by showing two contradictory accounts of events given by Compustar. I have provided actual scans of Compustar's responses in the REFERENCES section at the bottom.

Computar Inc. has two locations:

Headquarter
565 Moody Street
Waltham, MA 02154
Phone: 781-642-8827
Fax: 781-642-8871


Worcester Office
1280 Grafton Street
Worcester, MA 01608
Phone: 508-752-7001
Fax: 508-642-7203

Note that the website for Compustar is www.compustarpc.com, not compustar.com.

You can also get their website by googling "Compustarpc" or "Compustar pc"


WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:
I had an oral agreement with David Chang (one of the owners) for him to replace my computer's defective Asus 754 Socket motherboard for $195.00. Mr. Chang made several attempts to locate a compatible motherboard, yet ultimately told me that he was unable to locate the part, thus failing to live up to the terms of our agreement. When I went to pick up the computer, which was never repaired, Mr. Chang charged me a $45.00 diagnostic fee. At no point was I ever informed of this charge.


MR. CHANG'S FIRST FICTITIOUS ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED:
Mr. Chang's response below, dated 03/16/2007 is from the credit card chargeback reversal reason. (He was successful at reversing my chargeback):

"I spend hours Diagnose PC.(The $45 is us store diagnose Fee) [UNDISCLOSED NAME] been to us store before for other Service. This time [UNDISCLOSED NAME] don't want to pay for it. Because we do not want to fix and that why he don't want to pay anything.

Thank You

David Chang"

Mr. Chang is saying here that he doesn't want to fix the problem, and that's why I don't want to pay. It's puzzling to me why a computer repair service would say that they don't want to fix a problem. This changes later, as you will see. Also, I was never at the store for service beforehand, though I once bought a computer case from the store. I fail to see the relevance of this issue though.


MR. CHANG'S SECOND FICTITIOUS ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED:
Mr. Chang's response below, dated 06/13/3007 is from the Better Business Bureau complaint I filed:

"$45 is store diagnose fee. I have sign on the wall for my customers. I told him the motherboard may come 3 days. But it did not. He does not want to wait another day. There is nothing I can do."

Notice how a "sign on the wall" suddenly appears in this version of events. There may be a sign there now, but there was absolutely no sign then. This actually changes to a "giant" sign in a third fictitious account Compustar gave to the Attorney General. I did not include this account because there is no written record.

The main point here -- the real contradiction is that unlike the first version of events where Mr. Chang mysteriously declines to fix the problem, now Mr. Chang is prepared to fix the problem, yet I don't want to wait for a part. This version of events is actually closer to the truth in that Mr. Chang told me that there was a "two" day wait for a part that I in fact agreed to and waited for. After two days of my computer collecting dust in his store, Mr. Chang told me that he was unable to obtain the part, yet I had to pay $45.00 for zero services rendered, which he called a "Diagnostic Fee." This fee never came up at any time and was never part of our original agreement.

I believe Mr. Chang's two contradictory versions of events is strong evidence in support of the fact that Compustar cheated me and attempted to cover this up by lying. Liars cannot keep their stories straight because fiction is much harder to recall than reality. Police are well aware of this. That's how they got Susan Smith.

Buyer Beware!


REFERENCES
Credit card chargeback response:
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-chargeback-response.gif

Better Business Bureau Complaint
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-bbb-report-1-of-5.gif
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-bbb-report-2-of-5.gif
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-bbb-report-3-of-5.gif
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-bbb-report-4-of-5.gif
http://talkwarrior.com/scans/compustarpc/compustarpc-bbb-report-5-of-5.gif

Court order to remove material from this website

For the record, Bisney (See the e-mail sent to me by his lawyer below) didn't post an "article" at the below mentioned URL, he posted a comment to my article. And it was completely off-topic. I didn't understand at the time that he was just an asshole, exploiting my website to defame someone else. I initially thought it was just another crazy troll comment. The Court Order requiring me to remove the comment, also posted in this blog entry, is legitimate and I have removed Shit-For-Brains-Bisney's comment. I'm not so hot about the judge ordering me to remove Bisney's comment. I thought it violated my right to free expression. My stepfather the lawyer didn't see it that way.
==================================================================================

"Gondelman, Larry"
to dickie_richards@[UNDISCLOSED].com
date Jul 20, 2007 3:51 PM
subject Request regarding article posted on your website.

I am counsel for Mr. John F. Bisney. Mr. Bisney wrote and posted an article on your Internet site about Ms. Kathleen A. Benz, a former friend of his. The article written by Mr. Bisney contains false statements concerning Ms. Benz that Ms. Benz, in a lawsuit pending in federal court in the District of Columbia, claims are libelous. The article appears at http://talkwarrior.com/2005/06/mary-carey-republican.html


On behalf of Mr. Bisney and with the approval of the Court (see the Order of Judge Sullivan, attached hereto), I am contacting you to request that you immediately remove this story from your website and take all steps necessary to remove the article from your Internet site and to ensure that no one performing a search of any type can locate, access, or retrieve the article.


If you have any questions about this matter, please feel free to contact me. In addition, I would ask that you advise me of your response to my requests so that I can report back to the Court. Thank you for your attention to this matter.


Larry S. Gondelman
Powers Pyles Sutter & Verville, PC
1501 M Street, NW
Suite 700
Washington, DC 20005
202.872.6723

This message from the law firm of Powers Pyles Sutter & Verville, P.C., contains information which is privileged and confidential and is solely for the use of the intended recipient. If you are not the intended recipient and/or have received this message in error, please destroy it and notify us immediately at 202-466-6550.



Case 1 :05-cv-01760-EGS-JMF Document 62 Filed 06/27/2007

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT

FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

KATHLEEN A. BENZ,

Plaintiff,

v. Civil Action No. 05-1760 (EGS)

THE WASHINGTON NEWSPAPER

PUBLISHING COMPANY, LLC and

JOHN F. BISNEY,

Defendants.

ORDER

Upon consideration of the motion made by defendant John F.Bisney in open Court at the March 21, 2007 Status Conference for approval to communicate with Internet sites that continue to display or refer to articles that defendant Bisney authored concerning plaintiff Kathleen A. Benz for the purpose of seeking removal of such articles or references thereto from the Internet, and pursuant to the status hearing on June 21, 2007, it is by the Court hereby

ORDERED that defendant Bisney’s motion is GRANTED; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that defendant Bisney shall provide to counsel for plaintiff a list of all known Internet sites that continue to display or refer to the articles or portions thereof that defendant Bisney authored or disseminated that refer to plaintiff, Kathleen A. Benz, by name or by implication (hereinafter referred to collectively as the "Articles") by no later than June 29, 2007; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that, by no later than June 29, 2007, defendant Bisney shall submit to counsel for plaintiff the substance of the communication defendant Bisney intends to send to all Internet sites that display or refer to the Articles or portions thereof, requesting the removal of such Articles, which communication shall comply in all respects with the terms of this Order, along with a list of such Internet sites to which defendant Bisney proposes to send such communication; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that, by no later than July 9, 2007, counsel for plaintiff shall review and approve the substance of such communication by defendant Bisney to such Internet sites as well as the list of recipients of such communication, which approvals shall not be unreasonably withheld; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that, by July 19, 2007, and only upon certification from plaintiff that she has taken whatever measures she deems necessary to preserve evidence as discussed below, defendant Bisney shall send the approved communication to the approved recipients; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that prior to defendant Bisney contacting any Internet sites, plaintiff shall take whatever measures she deems necessary to preserve evidence regarding the above-referenced Articles for this litigation; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that upon completion of her preservation efforts, and by no later than July 16, 2007, plaintiff shall certify to the Court and to defendants that she has taken whatever efforts she deems necessary to preserve evidence; and it is

FURTHER ORDERED that defendant Bisney shall provide all communications received from any Internet sites to counsel for plaintiff and counsel for defendant The Washington Newspaper Company, LLC upon receipt.

SO ORDERED.

Signed: Emmet G. Sullivan

United States District Judge

June 21, 2007

Perverted Justice, Pretty Perverted

Okay, for the TV illiterate out there who have never seen Dateline\to catch_a predator, in this show, they set up real sting operations to capture delusional, balding, middle-aged idiots who are thinking they are meeting up with underage teens for sex, whom they supposedly solicited online. This chucklehead who calls himself a journalist, named Chris Hansen first gives the unsuspecting sex pervs the third-degree, and then they walk outside, thinking they're home free, only to get busted by the cops. It is a full-fledged freak show. It is Cops on crack. Most of the sex-pervs caught in the sting are said to be convicted and given heavy prison sentences. What gets me is that none of these sex pervs would have committed these crimes unless they were tempted to do so. I'm not a lawyer, but it seems highly questionable to me how you could convict someone of intent to commit a crime against a minor, when the minor is really an adult pretending to be a minor. The whole thing reeks of entrapment, although they say that it is clearly not.

The main point is this: Wouldn't all this money being spent to entice people into committing crimes, arresting them, convicting them, and imprisoning them, be better spent on more teachers, or housing for the homeless, or health care for children? The answer is no. We don't care about using resources in a productive and humane manner. We prefer pissing it away on the freak show.

I know the lame counter-argument: If we didn't entice sex pervs into committing sex crimes with impostors, they would be out there committing them against real children. I'll put it bluntly. This is an argument that some type of incredible fucking moron would make. I don't know any teenage girls, but I'm willing to gamble that the percentage of teenage girls who would actually meet, in person, a balding, middle-aged idiot who solicits them for sex online, is approximately zero.

Dateline\to catch_a predator is associated with this organization called Perverted Justice:

http://www.perverted-justice.com/

Perverted Justice is a bizarre, anti-sex perv vigilante group that actively looks to entice sex pervs online with impostors posing as children for sex.

For an anti-sex perv organization, Perverted Justice is pretty damn perverted! They publicly post real-live convos they've had with sex pervs, and you can vote on which sex perv is more perverted. Here are your options:

1.) Not really Slimy
2. Somewhat Slimy
3. Just Plain Slimy
4. Really Slimy
5. Oozing, dripping with slimyness!

They also post the photos of sex pervs, but I don't think any of them look as creepy as the Perverted Justice volunteers themselves. Here is one of the Perverted Justice volunteers, Wendy O'Connell:




When I look at Wendy, all I can think of is Marlin Brando in Apocalypse Now, repeating, "The Horror. The Horror..."

The Perverted Justice volunteers also add their personal comments about the sex pervs they speak to online. Here's one:

"At this point I wanted to rip him a new asshole. I can't even begin to tell you how sick I felt"

Just to be clear, this was not said by a sex perv. It was said by a Perverted Justice volunteer about a sex perv.

Here's the full URL of the text:

http://www.perverted-justice.com/?archive=Tucsftcoach

The police, and the courts, and Dateline\to catch_a predator are working hand-in-hand with people who want to rip people new assholes. I'm not even sure how you rip a person a new asshole. Maybe Pervert Justice can explain exactly how this works.

Let's cut the crap, alright? Perverted Justice is nothing but a bunch of voyeurs seeking sadistic pleasure by creating a twisted, carnival sideshow of sex pervs on display. They're not helping children. If they were they would be volunteering their time promoting the cause of health care for children or decent housing for children.

Oh, I forgot to mention the official Perverted Justice Thong they're selling for $9.99



Jokers.

What ever happened to Dr. Ruth?

I haven't seen Dr. Ruth for what seems like decades. Is she even still alive? I have been thinking about seeing her once on Letterman, where she was talking about some woman who wanted to feel pleasure in her vagina, and Ruth suggested that this woman buy a cucumber... At this point Letterman pretended to freak out by the comment.

Now that I think about this, it was really bad advice. I'm about the farthest away from a sex expert that you could be, but I know enough to know that you don't want to put a fucking cucumber in your vagina. I mean, hasn't Dr. Ruth ever heard of Salmonella or Staphylococcus? This is some major league bacteria. There are now anti-biotic resistant strains of Staph. This is a super-bug. It will really fuck you up. Yes, I know you could wash the cucumber off, but still, you don't want to go there. Certainly there are some more sanitary phallus substitutes that a woman could use. Jesus.

Review: Ego & Hubris: The Michael Malice Story

Ego & Hubris: The Michael Malice Story is a novel in the form of a comic book, by Harvey Pekar, illustrated by Gary Dumm. Unlike other other Pekar novels that I've read, Pekar doesn't use himself as the central character. In fact, Pekar only makes a short appearance at the end. The hero of this novel is this guy named Michael Malice. Unlike the Pekar character, who is a likable, sort of Jewish Bukowski, Malice is an annoying, pompous asshole, who is completely unlikable. What's strange about the book is that Malice is not given a writing credit, which made may wonder if Malice is a fictional character. After reading the book, it was difficult to conceive that anyone could make this shit up. The Malice character written about in the book has a real life blog:

http://michaelmalice.com/

It is a somewhat pathetic blog, with lame, and sometimes bordering on inane sounding comments from someone who is self-described in Pekar's book as having a 160 I.Q. As early as page 4 of the book, Malice says:

"I Was A Brilliant Kid. People Think That It's Bragging to Say You're Brilliant. But If I were The Tallest Kid, It Would Be Regarded As a Mere Statement Of Fact. So I'm Not Sure Why It's Regarded As Arrogance When I say I Was Smarter Than Everyone."

Malice, who is under the mistaken impression that intelligence can be quantitatively measured like height, never lets you forget how fucking smart and superior he is. Malice tells you that his I.Q. is 4 standard deviations above the average I.Q. (this is really, really high), yet what he doesn't tell you is that whites, on average, score above average on the test. I recently looked at one source that claimed that blacks scored, on average, 15 points lower than whites in I.Q. 15 points is 1 standard deviation. I have not looked at enough sources to verify this 15 point difference, yet if blacks score lower than whites, I don't know how you can embrace the test without embracing the notion of white superiority. There is no physiological evidence to support this whatsoever. Even without the racial disparity, the I.Q. test is a bullshit, unreliable, unproven test, and most actual smart people, that aren't fucking megalomaniacs like Malice, understand that the I.Q. test is a useful instrument for maintaining the status quo, and nothing more!

Okay, enough about Malice's big I.Q. I made such a big deal about it because Malice does. It seems to be the basis of his feelings of superiority and perhaps even his backwards, anti-social political beliefs. I never got straight what Malice was: Republican, Libertarian, Anarchist? Whatever the case, they are all anti-social, "fuck-you" belief systems, that inherently favor the rich over the poor, no matter how they're rationalized. While Republicans and Libertarians tend to be far bigger assholes than anarchists, anarchism, is just such a flawed, screwed-up, backwards notion that it's hard to put it into words.

I'm giving Pekar a score of 9 out of 10 for this book. Why such a good score after going off on my disdain for Malice? Well, because Malice is the king of confrontation. The book is essentially a chronology of events where he confronts unscrupulous, power-lusting authority figures. And what Malice does is he puts the bastards in their place! As much as I hate Malice personally, you gotta respect the guy. He even makes a fairly profound comment about life that is worthy of a highly intelligent person. I am only knocking a point off my rating because Malice is such an aversive character. The truly brilliant person here is Pekar, for writing such an entertaining book about such an asshole.

And by the way, Malice. Do you really expect people to believe you gave up your promising career as a stand-up comedian because you didn't want to travel around on tour? Give me a break. How dumb do you think we inferior people really are?

28 Weeks Later Sucks Giant Elephant Cock

I never have time for this blog anymore. I just want to quickly say what a sucky let-down 28 Weeks Later was. Movie reviewers point out the movie's flaws, however, from reading many personal reviews of the movie, it's obvious that many people have no fucking taste whatsoever.

28 Days Later, one of my favorite horror movies, was gory, but it was not gore for the sake of gore. It had real characters that you could relate to, not the cliched, noble American soldier characters that looked like they came right out of a Hollywood action/adventure movie. Cookie-cutter bullshit like that makes me want to puke.

28 Weeks Later has vast plot holes, very little character development, its story is unrealized. It is nothing more than a cheap, exploitative gore fest, pretending to be artsy.

I liked the two kids in the movie. I liked their mother. They seemed real to me. The father seemed real to me until he turned into a zombie. Everything else in the movie seemed truly sucky and unreal. One other thing. I see movie reviewers talking about this movie as a metaphor for America's occupation of Iraq. Maybe, but it sure ain't a powerful one if it is. You want a good zombie metaphor for the occupation of Iraq, see Romero's Land of the Dead. This was not a great movie, but a far better sequel than 28 Weeks Later.

Better get ready. 28 Months Later will probably be coming out soon. Then 28 Years Later. Gas is expensive, and exploitative filmmakers have expensive cars, yachts and Cessnas to gas up. You must help them!

Go To Jail Paris, Go Directly To Jail!

For reasons of posterity I have saved the text of Paris Hilton's petition to Governor Gropenator that she not go to jail below. If it wasn't real I would think it was satire. (I mean, wow, what would our "mundane" lives be like without Paris Hilton's "beauty and excitement"!)

The petition is an example of writing written by and for the incredibly stupid. I'm willing to gamble that Paris wrote it herself. I encourage everyone reading this to sign Paris' petition as Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck or Mao Zedong, or whatever...

Paris Hilton will have it much easier than us mundane folk in jail. The jailers will segregate her so that she doesn't get her ass kicked, though I suspect the women in the jail will be more interested in getting her autograph than kicking her ass.

Paris will live. She not only broke the law, she showed contempt for the law and absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Let her do her time like the mundane people.

To:
The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic "House of Wax". In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn't go to jail, either.

As depicted on Friday night's episode "Nancy Grace" on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been "slapped on the wrist" for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week. Brandy's California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving!

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.


This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday.She is distraught and understandably afraid.

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT to save our Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility! Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the welfare of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made . If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.

Dickie Richards: Freedom and Liberation

Dickie shows the path of freedom and liberation:

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Patch Adams Make Me Homicidal

I watched the entire Patch Adams on TV a week or two ago. Not because I enjoyed it, but because I have never in my life seen such sickenly tear-jerky, putrid moviemaking. I wanted to ralph. I was really sick. I hate Patch Adams. I hate how he wears bed pans for shoes and puts that stupid fucking red thing on his nose. If I was ever dying of cancer like the guy in the movie, and Patch walked in my hospital room dressed as a fairy to try to make me feel better, I swear to God, I'd murder the bastard.

Patch Adams epitomizes the gigantic cock that American movies suck. Why does Hollywood insist on making people feel so fucking happy and okay about the universe. You don't see this in German movies. In fact, no other country that I know of can manufacture the drek of American film.

I remember seeing George Clooney talk with pride about story-boarding every single shot in one of his movies. When German filmaker Verner Herzog was asked whether he story-boarded one of his movies, he said he never story-boarded. He called story-boarding "the disease of Hollywood." Verner Herzog, in my opinion is the greatest living director.

In the 70's Hollywood churned out some really great movies. Now everything is formula, special effects, sap, and derivative. This is why I don't go to the movies anymore.

Hot and bald

All the armchair shrinks are out there saying that a bald Britney is crying for help. But do these whiny mofos ever stop to look at Britney without her hair? Britney is one hot baldy! Look how cute she looks. She's like a cute fuckin' explosion. She looks much better without her hair because being bald makes her big cute baby eyes even more pronounced.

You anti-bald Britney Spears bashers are just plain blind or completely lacking in the knowledge of female beauty. Fuck all of you anti-Britneys!

I say Britney Spears isn't making a cry for help. I say she's making a fuckin' fashion statement!

Screwed by Compustar

This is the story of being really screwed by a computer repair shop called Compustar.

Compustar Inc.
www.compustarpc.com
565 Moody St.
Waltham, MA 02453
781-642-6622

Note that the website for Compustar is compustarpc.com, not compustar.com.

I fried an Asus K8V SE motherboard installing a PC3200 DDR-400 DIMM into the third memory slot. This was not a "recommended" memory configuration according to the Asus manual. Asus does mention some problems which might result if you don't go with the recommended settings, but nothing about physically damaging the motherboard. It is not clear if that is why the motherboard fried. The reason will probably remain an elusive mystery to me. After being screwed by large computer companies like Gateway and small, generic computer stores alike, I started assembling my own computers and doing repairs myself. However, since I was going away in 3 days, I was in a mad rush to get the motherboard replaced so that I could access my data. I decided to bite the bullet and risk bringing it to a repair shop called Compustar. Compustar has 2 shops. I brought it to the one in Waltham, MA.

At the store, I spoke to a guy named David. This is probably the David Chang listed on the Compustarpc.com website as a co-owner. I left the computer with him. He called me a short while later and said that he could install a similar Asus 754 Socket motherboard for about $195.00. He said it would be under $200.00. I looked up the motherboard. It cost around $80.00. Even though he was charging me $115.00 in labor for replacing a motherboard, something he could probably do blindfolded in 20 minutes, and, even though he told me it would take 2 entire days to order the motherboard, I told him to go ahead a do it, as I was desperate and just wanted the problem dealt with.
By 4:00 o'clock, 2 days later, there is no word from David. I call David. David tells me he's having a problem obtaining the motherboard and that he will get back to me. At 5:30 he still hasn't called me. I decide to rush over to the store in hopes of getting my computer back before he closes.

At the store David makes some more calls and tells me he cannot obtain the motherboard but says he can get me another similar motherboard in one day. I say that I want to look at the specs of the motherboard, but if they are alright, I will agree to this if he puts it in writing that he will replace the motherboard in one day. After a huge amount of resistance on David's part, where he says, "what are you gonna do, sue me?" David says he will put this in writing.

I check out the specs for the motherboard at his shop, online. The incompetent fucking idiot had chosen a motherboard for the wrong socket set. David goes back on the phone to look for another motherboard, but eventually concedes that he cannot find a suitable replacement motherboard. I tell him that I am going to take my motherboard back.

David tells me that he will be charging me a $45.00 diagnostic fee. At no point had David informed me about any fee. He had also failed to live up to the terms of our verbal agreement. I am not a lawyer, but this charge was probably illegal. And if it was not illegal, it was certainly unethical. I did not put up any argument though, because I feared that he might try to sabotage my computer, as I knew it was in pieces in the back room.

David reassembled my computer in the back room, came back with it, and asked for my credit card. Had the slimy goddamn son-of-a-bitch not tried to solicit me to come back after royally fucking me up my ass by not doing the work, and on top of that, charging me for NOTHING, I would have just paid and walked out the door. But you see, David thought if I needed more help, I might be ignorant enough to come back to him. I don't like to get into arguments with sleazy merchants, but I did have a wiggy. David kept displacing blame on the distributer, telling me it was not his fault. And I just hate that kind of mickey mouse bullshit. I'm not a moron. I don't like being treated like one. HE made the fuck up, NOT the distributer. HE failed to live up to the terms of our verbal agreement, and I was completely fucked because now I didn't have time to order a motherboard and do it myself. It was HIS fucking problem. He had to accept responsibility for it and not charge me for doing absolutely NOTHING. He got wiggy too, he wanted to argue with me. We weren't swearing at each other, but it got really heated. I had to ask him at one point to stop arguing with me and give me the bill so that I could sign it and get the hell out of there.

I have not decided at this point whether I will file a report with the BBB or protest the credit card charge. While David or one of his cronies is free to respond to my charges on this blog, I just want to warn that my blog is not an appropriate place for a counter-response. If you want to counter-respond, do it on your own goddamn website. If anyone contaminates my blog with a counter-response, I will post this blog post as an Alexa review. You don't want that Compustar, I assure you. So a few words of wisdom: DON'T FUCK WITH ME!

While not all small computer shops are corrupt, enough are so that, even if you are bad with mechanical devices as I am, it still pays to build and repair your own computer, if you cannot afford a pre-assembled computer from a large company. Even some large computer companies such as Gateway, are sleazy, incompetent, and deliver a shit product. You will not be able to diagnose problems like the professionals because you don't have the equipment, however I have found that despite the wasted money and time you will have to put into computer assembly and repairs because of inexperience and lack of diagnostic equipment, it still doesn't pay to bring it to a so-called professional. If you must bring it to a professional, WALK AWAY IF THERE IS ANY RESISTANCE WHATSOEVER TOWARDS PUTTING THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT IN WRITING. Don't be an idiot like me and trust that someone will live up to the terms of a verbal contact. For an honorable business, it should be standard practice to put things in writing.

Dickie Richards: Suicide

Notes on suicide:

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Saddam "sharp dresser" Hussein

Saddam Hussein is scheduled to be hung this weekend. Today, he was awarded "Best Dressed Man on Death Row" by GQ magazine. Saddam told reporters in a final interview that although he was unsuccessful in his attempt to unify the former British protectorate of Kuwait and repel the American imperialists, he was one "sharp dressing son-of-bitch."

Fanged Liberal Man Hater

Liberal men everywhere who enjoy receiving safe and painless fellatio, breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday when a woman with baboon like fangs announced that she was giving up dating liberal guys.

TalkPissAnt

Notice the "From:" field of the e-mail below. Maybe good ol' "John J" could start me up in his home-based-business opportunity so that I can be a winner like him...

From: Work From Home workfromhome@stopworking.net 3:37 pm
To: [ME]
Date: Nov 16, 2006 3:37 PM
Subject: Warrior

Just wondering why you are called talk warrior...you seem like a
whiny little boy who didn't get enough attention growing up and
makes his way on earth tearing people down.

Why don't you go live in another country if this is so bad???
I'm sure you wouldn't have the balls to do that
though..warrior...pshah you embarrass the word...how about TalkPissAnt
Small thinking b.s. For the smaller minded..


John Warner Johnston
a.k.a. "John J"

Rudy Giuliani emulating his master

Rudy Giuliani is seen here trying to emulate his idol, Adolph Hitler. Notice the raised hands and the small of mouths of these men. This is the result of a genetic abnormality which causes the person to become a real asshole.

Pelosi Face Melt Off

Half of Nancy Pelosi's face melted off during a speech yesterday, revealing that she is the android creation of ETs from a much more advanced and civilized galaxy.

Long live the reign of the space android Pelosi!

Bush sings

Bush singing "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha.

Dickie Richards: Dickie's Kids

Dickie asks you to support Dickie's Kids:

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Dickie Richards: Skype

Dickie talks about how Skype sounds like an STD:

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Dickie Richards: A Cock Like a Boa

Dickie seeks a Russell Crowe sized penis:

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Dickie Richards: Homeopathic

Dickie sells videos for making homeopathic drugs:

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Dickie Richards: Philippe the Great Heterosexual Hairdresser

A message sponsored by The Organization of Heterosexual Professionals Who Are Unfairly Thought of as Being Gay:

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Dickie Richards: Canadian Goose

Dickie Richards gives a Canadian who's invading his country a piece of his mind:

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Bastard Brood of Che: #8: Sir Paul McJerkney

TITLE: Bastard Brood of Che: #8: Sir Paul McJerkney

DESCRIPTION:

Sir Paul McCartney is exposed as the bellicose, imperialism promoting pig that he is. Special appearances from Moshe's favorite fascist -- Jay Severin, Moshe's mother, Dickie Richards, Shawn Lennon, and Dave "Payola" Riley of The Blather. Fun for the entire family. Bring the kids!


Direct Download URL: http://talkwarrior.com/show/bbc/bbc-008.mp3

Podcast URL: http://talkwarrior.com/show/bbc/bbc-podcast.rss

Broadcast Quality

Size: 27 MB

Running Time: 29.30


CONTENT CREDITS:

Shrubby
Jay Severin - "Jay Severin Has Issues"
Moshe "Moses" Moscovitz
Moshe's Mother
Benito Mussolini
Dickie Richards - "Canadian Goose"
Shawn Lennon
Mohammed Ali
Dave Riley - "The Blather #14"
http://ratbagradio.blogspot.com/2006/03/blather-14-at-anti-war-rally.html
Dickie Richards - "Mike's Monkey Ranch"
Ann Polette Pot - "Slander Is Us"
Bayer Pharmaceuticals Corporation

MUSIC CREDITS:

"Here, There And Everywhere" by Lennon/McCartney

"All the Flowers" by Dan Wilson (Hellebore Shew)
http://epistaxis.stodge.org
http://resonancefm.com

"You're Mined" by Wall Street Traitors
http://wallstreettraitors.uni.cc

"Stayin' Alive" by BeeGees

"Youria Youria" by Wall Street Traitors
http://wallstreettraitors.uni.cc


SPECIAL THANKS:

Dave Riley

http://ratbagradio.blogspot.com/2006/03/blather-14-at-anti-war-rally.html


To Marxists.org for providing the Communist Manifesto:

http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/download/manifest.pdf


PRODUCED BY:

TalkWarrior.com and UpstartRadio.com


BROADCAST/USAGE RESTRICTIONS:

Copyright (C) 2006 TalkWarrior.com

Usage governed under the following Creative Commons Deed:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/

Attribution should be made to: TalkWarrior.com

Dickie Richards: The Real Karate Kid

Dickie Richards demonstrates how he was screwed out of the role of The Karate Kid:

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Bastard Brood of Che: #7: May Day 2006 Celebration

TITLE: Bastard Brood of Che: #7: May Day 2006 Celebration

DESCRIPTION:

As part of the May Day festivities, Moshe changes his name to reflect his new revolutionary identity.


Direct Download URL: http://talkwarrior.com/show/bbc/bbc-7-pq.mp3

Podcast URL: http://talkwarrior.com/show/bbc/bbc-podcast.rss

Broadcast Quality

Size: 27 MB

Running Time: 29.30


CONTENT CREDITS:

Adolph Hitler
Alberto R. Gonzales
Ann Polette Pot - "Slander Is Us"
Ernesto Swaggart -- Outtake
Fidel Castro -- Eulogy for Che Guevara
Jay Severin -- "Jay Severin Has Issues"
Laura Ingraham -- "The Laura Ingraham Show"
Lenny Bruce Without Tears, 1971
Scooter -- Phone conversation (http://acksisofevil.org)
Shawn Lennon -- Phone conversation (http://upstartradio.com)
Shrubby


MUSIC CREDITS:

"The Internationale," by Mark Blitzstein & The New Singers (recorded around 1933)

"The Internationale," recorded by anonymous artists in 2005 for presidential campaign of Stanisław Tymiński

"Technotic Trip" by Thorsten Wilms
URL: http://www.archive.org/details/s3_15_technotic_trip
Creative Commons license: Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.5/)


"You're Mined" by Wall Street Traitors

"Youria Youria" by Wall Street Traitors


SPECIAL THANKS:

To this guy for providing this great web page with versions of "The Internationale" from all over the world:

http://www.hymn.ru/internationale/index-en.html


To Marxists.org for providing the Communist Manifesto:

http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/download/manifest.pdf


PRODUCED BY:

TalkWarrior.com


BROADCAST RESTRICTIONS:

May be BROADCASTED FREELY BY NON-COMMERCIAL ENTITIES ONLY. May not be modified without the express written consent of TalkWarrior.com

Copyright (C) 2006 TalkWarrior.com