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Sunday, October 30, 2005

F Troop deployed to Iraq

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld announces that in order to ensure a victory in the war on terror, F Troop will be deployed to Iraq. Cpl. Randolph Agarn, played by the beloved Larry Storch has been promoted to the rank of Captain, and will be assuming command of F Troop.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Andy Card heads for The Rough Riders Bar

White House Chief of Staff Andy Card is seen here heading out to The Rough Riders Bar in Washington, D.C., a pleasant place where men can relax and enjoy the company of other men.

Monday, October 24, 2005

I See Dead People Who Have Come Back to Life

Dickie Richards comes out of retirement to star in the most horrifying movie ever made: "I See Dead People Who Have Come Back to Life":

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Saturday, October 22, 2005

Old Guys Suck

Part of an early Dickie Richards' performances done on Comedy Night at the Ramada Inn in Randolph Massachusetts, on July 23, 2003. What's striking about this performance is that Dickie doesn't demand the audience to shut the fuck up:

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Friday, October 21, 2005

Tony Anthony Does Fanta

Dickie tries to contain himself while Tony Anthony does a Fanta ad:

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

Guns save lives, fucker!

As soon as I saw the ad below, I knew I wanted to do something for the betterment of mankind. I wanted to save lives! So I went straight to ebay and bought myself a kick-ass Colt M16 A4 Carbine Assault Rifle. (Fully fucking automatic, baby! 500 rounds per minute.) And already I saved a life -- my own. I coulda been shot to death by the security guard at my former place of employment where I blew everyone's fucking head off except for the secretary. She was always sweet to me.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Mike's Monkey Ranch

Dickie teams up with Mike's Monkey Ranch to offer 100% pure American monkey semen:

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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Hurricane Naming Conspiracy

Dickie, in his stand-up act explains why hurricanes are a gentile conspiracy:

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Another reason why LFMS was axed

Beyond the fact that Moshe was treated by his audience like a man-slut (this was fully elaborated on in the last post), Live From Mt. Sinai was silenced by the left.

BBSs like the The Democratic Underground and Che-Lives denied Moshe membership, preventing Moshe from spreading the word about the show. Radio Power never even responded to Moshe's request to air his show. These are just examples. With only two exceptions -- those being Upstart Radio and The Lefty Directory, the left was successful in silencing Moshe by not affording him publicity. I'm not sure why. Perhaps Moshe was too crass, too theatrical ... or perhaps Moshe employed something that left-wing zealots rarely use -- "Critical Thinking." Moshe wasn't going to believe something was right just because it had a fucking Che Guevara head in its logo or fucking Ward Churchill said so. Moshe refused to blindly accept the words of the left-wing profits.

Moshe spent more time on the show bashing the left for trying to squeeze him out of existence then attacking fascists and Republicanism. It's unfortunate. Moshe tried. He put almost a year into the show and got nowhere. You have only yourselfs to blame for the demise of Live From Mt. Sinai.

When the right-wing fucks that succeed Bush (and believe me they will succeed Bush because they control the election process and are facing a disorganized opposition controlled by a Republican known as Hillary Clinton) come knocking at Moshe's door looking for names of Americans participating in Un-American Activities -- they're not even going to have to torture Moshe or even threaten to torture Moshe. Moshe's going to sing, baby. Sing like a fucking canary. Moshe doesn't owe anything to you pompous, ignorant fucking assholes who silenced him.

Podcast status -- and why you are fucking assholes.

Dear Talk Warriors,

The Dickie Richards podcast is now in full operation. You should expect at least one new Dickie Richards entry by Friday or Saturday of each week.

Some people have asked for Moshe to resume Live From Mt. Sinai. While I will concede that LFMS had more heart than Dickie Richards, despite how much better the Dickie Richards production values are, it made poor Moshe miserable. It reminded Moshe of a woman that used to fuck him when she was in the mood -- and it wasn't even good sex -- or even mediocre sex -- it was crappy sex -- but not ordinary crappy sex -- it was crappy sex so bad that you wouldn't even wish it upon your worst enemy. This woman was downright domineering and pissy, and poor Moshe had to put up with all this pussy-whip bullshit. And this woman fucked other men too. She was a multiple sex partner type of girl (You couldn't use the word "girl" in front of her if you were referring to a female over the age of three or she'd have a fucking wig-out because they were WOMEN!) Finally the woman found a boyfriend in some airport terminal or bus depot (I don't remember) and that was that for Moshe's pathetic and infrequent sex escapades with the evil one. And she had no ass. Moshe's not exaggerating. Moshe would go to grab a piece of ass and come up with a handful of air. It was awful. And she sported a goatee too. The facial hair literally gave poor Moshe nightmares. It was just horrible. Why did he subject himself to that shit? SHE JUST WASN'T FUCKING WORTH IT! No woman is.

Well, to make a long story short, Moshe got no respect from this evil woman, just like he got no respect from LFMS fans. The show failed because you -- the shithead audience of LFMS didn't spread the word about the show and very few people downloaded it. You didn't show Moshe respect. You treated him like some kinda disposable man-meat, like Moshe's evil woman. And she was never even technically his "woman," because you see she was too busy fucking other men she found in bus terminals. The rotten bitch. She was an asshole just like you!

Awful Podcast Showcase was also cancelled after only 3 shows because you showed it no respect.

So next time you want a show to stay on the air at TalkWarrior.com, maybe you'll show it a little respect. And you'll kiss Dickie's fucking ass, ya lousy fucks.

Cell Phone Asshole

I'm a cell phone asshole:

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Seal Pup Sandwitches

Dickie explains why Upstart America Radio listeners aren't wussies:

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Fight the Evil

Dickie fights the evil of Upstart America Radio:

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Mindy Cohn

Dickie reinforces the fact that he is better than you:

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Getting Paid

Dickie reinforces the fact that he's getting paid while you're not:

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