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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Review: Budweiser American Ale

Don't be fooled by the name "Budweiser American Ale." There's nothing remotely American about this product. Budweiser is now owned by a mega euro-beer conglomerate. Budweiser American Ale was probably invented by Nazi scientists. It was probably one of Hitler's secret weapons.

Budweiser American Ale is a fucking great ale. It has high-end, hard-to-find microbrew quality taste, with a very modest price. I don't remember the six pack price. I believe it was under $7.00 USD. I paid $25.00 USD for a case. This is extremely reasonable considering the quality of this ale.

What struck me after my first sip is the very impressive lack of aftertaste. It has just the right amount of fizz for me, which is a lot, but not so much that it burns my tongue. Its flavor is not overpowering, yet not too weak. If you're in the mood for an easy drinking yet flavorful ale, Budweiser American Ale is perfect. I don't know exactly how much alcohol is in this ale, but judging by my subjective level of sobriety after drinking it, it has a very low alcohol content. Contrary to popular belief, high alcohol content does not enhance flavor for beer related beverages. If anything it takes away from flavor. This ale also has low acid.

Budweiser American Ale goes down almost as easily as ginger ale. Accordingly, you have to be careful. You could drink a lot of these ales without even realizing it.

As you may know, I am against capitalism. I am a socialist. But I'm fairly convinced that socialism, as we know it, could never offer an ale of this quality at such a reasonable price. People are being horribly exploited somewhere to make this ale possible.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Kim Basinger flirted with me at Fast Cupid

Wow, I must be really handsome! Kim Basinger flirted with me at Fast Cupid. And although she lists her age as 40, she looks so young! She looks the same as the way she used to look 20 years ago!

And, she's living in Boston too! Wow. A real life Bond Babe interested in me. I hope Kimmie won't think me odd if I suggest we go Canadian Goose watching...

The desperate failed mission.

I saw Wolf Blitzer yesterday talking about George Sodini, the psycho who shot up a bunch of women in a shooting spree at a gym.

Blitzer described Sodini as a “man on a desperate failed mission to meet women.” I thought this was funny because Blitzer could have been describing me.

I’ve read part of what Sodini wrote. This is an unscientific statement, but there appears to be a correlation between racism and psycho killing.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Personal ad of the week

I wish I can assure this 48 year old woman (below) that no man is looking at her as a “vessel for his seedling.” She does not even require birth control anymore to prevent pregnancy. This woman doesn’t lean far enough left for my tastes as she’s a fucking financially-stable-guy seeking bloodsucker. Yeah, I’m angry, what are you gonna do about it? I blocked commenting. You can’t touch me anymore.

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME IF


You're absolutely unmarried (as in never married or completely, fully, totally divorced). You're a left-leaning, dog-loving, non-smoking, socially aware, financially stable guy who is an excellent communicator and not looking for casual sex or a vessel for his seedling.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

The last and final Cheryl entry

Cheryl responded to the message I sent her, published in this blog. Here’s what she wrote:

Hi Dickie,

All of the photos are the real me--or not. I'm multi-faceted. Perhaps also uncapturable--even when caged.

Where did you get the impression that I hate goat's milk? I grew up on the stuff (sort of). Maybe you are mixing recollections of another gal.

I did think it odd that the one and only bird you were interested in observing was the Canada goose. I wouldn't call that botching per se, but I did come away overall with a bit of the feeling that our "energies" were not a good match. It's true my energies have been fluctuating a bit over the past several months, but while I do believe you are a decent and clever man, I haven't hit a point where I've thought we should repursue meeting. If by chance I came across you in the world, tho, I would approach and greet and chat. I wish you well.

Cheers,
Cheryl

Okay, first of all, let’s clear up a few facts. My memory borders on idiot savant. People who know me know that I remember EVERYTHING. I suspect it is a byproduct of whatever causes my learning disability.

Cheryl and I got on the subject of goat’s milk because I asked her about the farm she was raised on. I asked her specifically what farm animals there were. There were only chickens and goats. They milked the goats. I asked Cheryl specifically what it tasted like. She squirmed. She said it tastes like the stuff goats eat. I was not confusing her with another girl. She made it very clear to me that she didn’t like goat’s milk.

Now, regarding the bird watch I had suggested for our second date, it was technically an “aquatic” bird watch, though it was very clear that Canadian Geese would be looked for. I take exception to her statement that it was odd that I was looking for Canadian Geese. There’s nothing odd about this. This is a fascinating animal and they are in abundant supply. Canadian Geese seem to share many more similarities with us than most mammals. They don’t make nests. They have nuclear families. They are good parents. They congregate in large social groups where there is both a lot of conflict as well as a surprising amount of tolerance. There’s something very primordial and beautiful about these animals. I go to see these guys with my friend Renaissance Woman all the time. I don’t think I’m odd. I’m eccentric yes. Certainly Renaissance Woman is pretty cool. We just appreciate these animals because we are animal lovers. Certainly a zoologist like her can appreciate that. Cheryl had read my blog entry about my Canadian Goose watch on Fast Cupid. That’s one of the first things she talked about when we first exchanged e-mails. She specifically told me we could exchange Canadian Goose stories when we met on our first date, and that’s what we did. Perhaps the Canadian Goose watch wasn’t a good second date idea, but it was an extension of a thread from our previous encounters and that’s why I chose a Canadian Goose Watch.

Having cleared up all this facts, fuck her! I have absolutely no desire for her anymore. I don’t like fickle people. They burn me out emotionally and waste my fucking time. I don’t like people who put out mixed signals. If you have mixed feelings or you’re just not interested, don’t express your interest so earnestly. It’s just not cool to do this.

Frankly I was put off by the tone of her whole letter. What is this horseshit about “energies”? Is that like auras? What kind of 70’s hippie crap is that?

What I resented is this: “I haven't hit a point where I've thought we should repursue meeting.” I hate assholes who talk this way. Just fucking say you’re not interested. Why does she have to insult me with this excruciatingly sensitive language? This is a very nasty way of rejecting people, because some people would actually be waiting around hoping for the day where she hits the point where she’s going to “repursue”. I don’t know if people who talk like this realize this or not. In any case, it’s an asshole way to communicate.

And I hate how she says “Cheers” at the end. I hate Americans who try to affect (British) English ways of talking or writing. You come across as a real pompous asshole.

Also, I am not “clever.” I am not remotely clever. I am smart.

I don’t think Cheryl really means she would “approach and greet and chat” with me if she came across me in the world. This is part of the sugar coat. If I saw her I would pretend that I didn’t recognize her and B-line it for the nearest exit.

Fuck Cheryl. I mean, really, really fuck Cheryl. I’m forgetting her already. It was my loneliness and desperation that fueled my obsession over her. I see this now. Had I made money which would have enabled me to secure relationships with desirable women, Cheryl would have been no big deal. I would of ran from Cheryl at the first scent of her ambivalence, which I suspected very early on. I failed to trust my instincts. Desperation and madness ruled the day. These are powerful forces.