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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

How ‘bout speaking some English, Hil

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Today on Democracy Now, Secretary of State Clinton said the following:

"If anyone reading the stories about these alleged cables thinks carefully, what they will conclude is that the concern about Iran is well-founded…."

anyone is a singular pronoun; accordingly, only singular pronouns may be used with it. Clinton says, their, a plural pronoun. This is, how shall I say it -- fucking wrong! Below, I correct her fucked-up English:

"If anyone reading the stories about these alleged cables thinks carefully, what he or she will conclude is that the concern about Iran is well-founded…."

Noam Chomsky came on later and refuted Clinton’s claim, saying, basically, that King Fahd was a dictator and that his feelings about blowing up Iran are not representative of public option among ordinary people in the Saudi-Arabia and the Middle-East.

I think that before Secretary Clinton tells what people who “think carefully” should think, she should stop fucking embarrassing me by thinking more fucking carefully about her English.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Grammar and the ridiculous

Which sentence is correct:

You are acting ridiculous.

or

You are acting ridiculously.

I thought that the first sentence, which uses ridiculous, is correct. In this instance, acting ridiculous appears to be a phrase, perhaps a gerund phrase, which acts as a complement to the linking verb be. Accordingly, you would use the adjective ridiculous and not the adverb ridiculously.

I called numerous grammar hotlines. All except for one said that the second sentence, which uses the adverb ridiculously, is correct. These people are convinced that act is the main verb and can’t even entertain the possibility that be is the main verb. They all seemed lacking in grammatical terminology. One woman finally agreed with me, but I think that she only did so because she felt bullied by me and didn’t want to deal with me anymore.

The one grammar hotline, which seemed to have some clue about English, offered me this advice, which seemed the most viable: Both sentences are correct. The first describes the person, and the second describes the behavior of the person.

I am still not completely sure what the answer is, though I am pretty sure that there are few, if any, grammarians alive.

Stuff that you do when you have too much time on your hands….

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Friday, November 19, 2010

Scary-as-fuck, abandoned mental hospital in Preston, CT

This place scared the hell out of me; I was so glad to get my ass back into the car and get the hell out of there. The place seemed familiar to me because I’m pretty sure they shot a low-budget horror movie there. You can find this God-forsaken place on Route 12 in Preston, CT.
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Animals that I saw while in Connecticut

I saw some dwarf camels…

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…and a giant chicken…

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