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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I fucking hate cooperate art

I want to destroy corporate art, as they did in Fight Club. I especially despise this piece of corporate art, as it is right in the middle of the fucking sidewalk.

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A big turd-like piece of cooperate art, right in the middle of the goddamned street in Boston.

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It lies right in front of the Bank of America building. It no doubt belongs to BOA. BOA property blocking a publicly owned property -– the sidewalk, while public funds are used to bail-out BOA after fucking us.

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What I’d like to know is how BOA gets away with blocking our sidewalk with this monstrosity. It is fucking criminal. Probably a good thousand people have accidently stumbled into it at night. It has probably bruised, battered, and broken the bodies of poor unsuspecting bystanders.

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Work here because we are assoles with pissy attitudes

All this ballbusting and not one mention of how much these fuckers are willing to pay. I betcha it’s minimum wage. Shits.

Good Work Ethic (Hialeah, FL)


Date: 2011-01-06, 8:35AM EST
Reply to: job-qeuvg-2146342538@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

****** Please read this posting in its entirety before responding to this job posting. ******
Looking for a person that meets the following criteria:
1. BE DRUG FREE
2. GOOD WORK ETHIC
3. VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE WITH YOUR OWN TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM WORK
4. MUST HAVE A BACKGROUND IN CARPENTRY AND/OR MANUFACTURING
5. SPEAK FLUENT ENGLISH (SPANISH IS A PLUS)
The individual that gets hired for this position will be expected to perform the following:
* Be on time for work every day and work a full day
* Be ready to put in a full day's work
* Be able to take direction and work with minimal supervision
We normally work 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. However we may require you to extra hours that may include weekends. This is a very physical job so be ready and willing to work. Our company specializes in the cabinet industry. You will be trained to use the different types of machinery in the shop. Sometimes you will be running the machinery and sometimes you will be cleaning, packaging or delivering material. In other words, do not apply if you do not want to work. Also, if you can not get along with fellow co-workers and you are the type of person that likes to complain and/or be lazy then please do not apply for this position. Do not expect us to beg or try to entice you to work for us as we will not waste our time in doing so. We want to be impressed by your sincere attitude and work history.
So, if you are still reading this ad and you feel that you can become an asset to this company then please forward your resume via email for review with your contact information. It is EXTREMELY important to provide your resume. We will not bother to contact you or even consider you for this position if you do not provide a resume.

  • Location: Hialeah, FL
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Douglas State Forest

The most fun part of my journey from Boston to Southeast Connecticut, where I play poker, is driving through the Douglas State Forest in Douglas, Massachusetts. From Massachusetts, once you drive through the forest, you’re in Connecticut, only there are no signs telling you so. I choose this unusual route because I can no longer drive on highways. On this day, I encountered a strange animal while driving through the forest…

Forest road,  at one point it gets exceptionally narrow.

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Notice there is green to the left and right – you are in the middle of a forest. Garmin GPS device, which I have since returned, was wrong about the street. It’s actually S.E. Main St.

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I came upon some type of wild animal while I was coming back, perhaps a baby moose.

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No, it wasn’t a moose, it looked dog-like, but it couldn’t be a dog – it way way too big to be a dog. Maybe it was a hybrid moose/dog. Perhaps it’s genetically possible to combine both moose and dog.

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Whatever it was, it scared the crap out of me. It looked mangy, so I threw it some bologna that I had, but there was no way in hell I was getting out my car.

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Then, the weirdest thing happened. Some young and very hot looking woman going the opposite way stopped her car and asked me if I was the dog’s owner. She got out of her car and inspected the dog, completely fearless of both the giant dog and a strange man (me) in the middle of a forest.

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The dog had a collar yet no tags. It might’ve belonged to a hiker, yet it might also have been lost. The woman cell-phoned some animal shelters. I had tried to feed the dog some water out of my hand, but that didn’t work. The dog didn’t understand what I was trying to do. There was nothing more that I could do. I left. I didn’t take any photos of the hot young woman. That would not have been polite. You’ll just have to trust me on this.

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Friday, January 07, 2011

Just another damn day above ground…

Hi Kitty,

You don't have to be sorry. We never made firm plans. The English teaching job situation for Americans wanting to get full-time work (with work permits) in Hungary seems very gloomy, as it is in all of Central Europe. So, taking the course in Hungary probably won't afford me any real advantages beyond seeing Europe. I really did want to see Budapest; however, your language scares the living crap out of me -- and I do not have time to study even enough of it to get by, which would take months. This creates an additional disincentive not to go. I still haven't made up my mind; I will in about a month. Despite my anxieties, I might go because I know that if I don't see Europe now I never will, as I have no more money coming in. Maybe, if I go, I can get one of my classmates or students to drive me to Lake Balaton. (I'd of course pay for a rental.) I'm actually more interested in seeing the countryside than the city. I feel suffocated by cities and want to escape.

I have no idea what is going on with your stay in Italy. I am a little afraid to ask. I don't know if this is work-related, you have a mysterious Italian lover, or this part of your duties as a secret agent. Your mastery of English exceeds that of all Hungarians who teach English on OkayCupid. You are perhaps a spy, trained by some spy agency. I am of course kidding, but, well, you never know...

-Dickie

Sunday, January 02, 2011