I haven't seen Dr. Ruth for what seems like decades. Is she even still alive? I have been thinking about seeing her once on Letterman, where she was talking about some woman who wanted to feel pleasure in her vagina, and Ruth suggested that this woman buy a cucumber... At this point Letterman pretended to freak out by the comment.
Now that I think about this, it was really bad advice. I'm about the farthest away from a sex expert that you could be, but I know enough to know that you don't want to put a fucking cucumber in your vagina. I mean, hasn't Dr. Ruth ever heard of Salmonella or Staphylococcus? This is some major league bacteria. There are now anti-biotic resistant strains of Staph. This is a super-bug. It will really fuck you up. Yes, I know you could wash the cucumber off, but still, you don't want to go there. Certainly there are some more sanitary phallus substitutes that a woman could use. Jesus.