Monday, June 08, 2009

22 days left…


I would like to address this comment posted here:

Do not stop bogging. You have followers who care. Check your stats. We read but never post for fear of your ire. You are loved.
--ur #1frnd

I no longer have statistics. I’m on blogspot. I give you people something very special on this blog –- I give you my soul. Few other bloggers know how to do this. Contrary to what the Church might teach, most people don’t even have souls, they just live on auto-pilot. I’ve also expanded the form of blogging. I am the only person I know of who understands it as a unique art form, that must be treated differently from other forms of writing. 10 or 20 or 30 years from now, assholes will be publishing their blog as books. They will be teaching blogging in MFA programs. These new-wave bloggers will be considered pioneers of the form, and they will do some of the very things that I do, and people will call them innovators. And Charlie Rose will have them on his show and do his usual kiss-ass routine. They’ll probably show up on Colbert too.

Other bloggers who have vastly inferior blogs to me have Followers. I have none. This is unacceptable. I am not a loser like Michael Phillips. I am not so starved for attention that I will sell my soul to a few isolated individuals like some kind of bloggo crack whore.

The 19 year old who conned me out of six dollars at the train station was really symbolic to me of my audience. You take and take and take and give me nothing in return. This has always been the case going as far back as my radio days. What ire do you think you’re going to get from me? I don’t recall ever beating anyone’s ego into the dirt who did not hit below the belt. The Che-Lives and the Wediko assholes who continue to persistently attack me ANONYMOUSLY were both given ample opportunities to state their opposition to me in, in person, on my radio show. They were both sent official invitations which were published on this very blog. Neither of these institutions answered. Yet their minions continue to libel me. What do you expect me to do? I have no option but to pound these fuckers into the dirt.

You don’t have to agree with me. As long as you treat me with respect, I will respect your opinions and you with respect. This talk of “ire” is just plain ridiculous.

My equipment is working again, and is up to at least 90% capacity. This means that I can pretty much masturbate whenever I feel like it, with little or no pain. So I don’t need to blog anymore. I have another outlet for my existential misery. I can put all that wasted blog energy into chocking my chicken. I don’t need to blog anymore. I can take or leave you.

You’re running out of time. I still need ten Followers and you have only 22 days left…


Anonymous said...

This is desperately unfair! I typed out that "bogging" message on my iPhone while gunfire rained down on me here in Baghdad! The liberal media is not publishing that we are still having extreme skirmishes. The fact is that I do not fire at the "enemy." I go where I am told. I fire a few shots into the ground or a wall and then I pull out my iPhone and I call a friend or I surf the internet. I hope that you can understand exactly WHY I do not want to become a formal "follower" of yours as I do not want to be tried and convicted of dereliction of duty. The fact is that members of my squad could be taking a bullet while I am laughing my ass off about your hatred Michael Phillips. Am I laughing with you or at you? Who knows? Sometimes it is one and sometimes it is the other. The important point here is that your act of blogging is helping me, and hundred of others like me, make it through skirmishes.

Why do I read you? Because you are in the trenches. Just like me! I understand you. And there are many more. Do not demand that we go to jail on your behalf! Or get our mailboxes filled with messages on your behalf. We just want you to be there when we come knocking.

Is that selfish? I hope not. Because what are you getting as I am reading your work?

My time and attention! And I am not giving it to my squad when my squad needs me -- but that is because I do not mind it when they die. Most members of my unit are assholes and when I get home, IF I get home, I will be contacting you about exacting my electronic revenge.

So let me cheer your attacks against Michael Phillips. Man up and quit asking more from us than our devotion, and time and attention! We are ALREADY giving these things to you!


Anonymous said...

If a man regularly writes on a blog and no one follows, was there ever even a blog at all?

Dickie said...

If a man who claims he is a poet yet writes pathetic shit that he must self-publish still a poet? That is really the question.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, good one! Let's stick it to that tax-evading bad poetry writing bastard!

But seriously, sorry about there being zero followers and all.

Dickie said...

If you were truly sorry you would follow me. I will lead if only people would follow...