What was it when I went to sleep? 6:30, 7:30 a.m. I wasn't even drinking or working. There seems to be a never-ending amount of shit I must do. I must speak to family and friends -- some of whom go on interminably, watch boring Netflix DVDs, do physical therapy exercises for shoulders twice a day -- are they for real? -- (isn't it in my muscle's interest to give them a 24 hour rest?), brush the crap out of my teeth to avoid further gum recession and gum graft surgeries, do boring masturbation (it's work -- it's like manual labor -- I'm working a pump to extract jizz for no adaptive purpose whatsoever), take a shower to wash off the lubrication, jizz and any other detritus away, take medications, apply creams, and moisturize face with hand lotion to keep the skin womanly soft (again for no adaptive purpose as there is no woman to let me use my abundant supply of jizz to fertilize her eggs), read boring books on existential philosophy (good Christ these guys are boring -- the only one of these guys who has the slightest concept of how to write is Nietzsche -- I decided to skip Jaspers and move on to the Nazi [Heidegger]. I'll give the Nazi 5 more pages to capture my attention -- otherwise I'm moving on to the womanizer [Sartre]. I have no patience for people who cannot write in plain fucking English -- and yes, I know Nietzsche wrote in German but he wrote in a very modern, simple and compelling way for mere mortals.)
It seems like everything is such a fucking drag and the littlest things take so much time and energy. I'm too tired to work today. I'll try to get some cleaning done. That's all I can do. I thought maybe blogging would wake me up but is hasn't.
I looked at some personal ads, just for the fuck of it. I have no desire to write anyone today, and hopefully never so long as I live in this absurd country of money hungry assholes.
Came across this joker, an average looking 40 year with nothing compelling about her profile:
I would like to meet a man who will be great company, is intelligent, resourceful, loyal, sensual, with a sense of humor and manageable baggage.. who may be looking to stick around beyond the 5-night stand scenario. You don't have to be a millionaire, a MENSA member, or an underwear model, but please be 35-45, gainfully employed, attractive, and single (as in not married, separated, seeing someone or "polyamorous", LOL).
She wants "attractive" and "intelligent" and "sense of humor" and "sensual" and "loyal". This stuff doesn't grow on trees -- it is hard enough finding one of these things let alone two of them, yet she also wants "gainfully employed." Who the fuck is this loser kidding? Middle-class, middle-aged women have such unrealistic expectations. She has been on okaycupid before I got there. She was initially looking for younger men for a sex romp. She'll be on okaycupid long after me. These women think I'm pathetic, but you should see me see them. Here's a little secret folks: It's the not being "gainfully employed" that gives you humor, loyalty, and yes, believe or not -- sensuality. Not being "gainfully employed" doesn't make you intelligent, but it teaches you to think more critically about the world, which, in many ways is more valuable than raw intelligence.