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Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Thoughts on death, sex, and baseball

I've been feeling so angry lately. Some of these things I cannot talk about here, some I will be but not now. I think being called constantly on two separate phone lines by motherfucker asshole scam artists who just will not quit is not enough to cause someone to murder someone alone, but that, in combination with other shit is probably why people murder people. It is the small, constant, never ending annoyances from random motherfucker cocksuckers that lead to murder. I said the "C" word. Big deal. I think last week I used the "B" word. Get used to it. I don't have to be politically correct anymore. If you don't like the "C" word, I suggest you either familiarize yourself with Lenny Bruce or go to a nice blog where people are too enlightened to call people cocksuckers. I don't have to be nice anymore. I'm not permitted to go to blog parties. I have nothing to gain by censoring my own speech.

  • Shouldn't we be calling Big Pappi, No Poppy?
  • I don't mind being alone, I just don't like the idea of dying alone.
  • The thought of dying doesn't horrify me. The thought of dying without ever licking a woman again does. The last time I had coitus was 2001. I only know this because the woman said she had seen that shitty "Planet of the Apes" remake which IMDB says was released that year. I don't remember the last time my mouth touched a woman's vulva. I have no clue. I just want one last lick for Christsakes! Is that too fucking much to ask of the universe? I hate this fucking bastard universe and I'm going to fight the fucker till the end.

2 comments:

Beverly said...

Don't be mad! Just screen your calls. I don't pick up unless I know who it is. If they don't leave a message, that's their problem.

Are you sure she didn't see it on DVD?

Why you worry about being PC is beyond me--it's passé. My mother swears like a sailor, as did my grandmother. She also goes around being obscene without realizing it. She used to work at a college where she would using the expression "shot my wad" without realizing that this was physically impossible. And the other day she told the dog, who wouldn't get in the car, to stop being a pussy. Do you think this is a sign of early senility?

Dickie said...

Hi Bev,

It's not so easy. One phone line I cannot screen for reasons that I cannot go into here. The other line is my home phone and the fucking bastards at Verizon want something like eight or night dollars a month for caller ID. And I can't pay that because that money goes to partially subsidize meals for women I date who never thank me. The money has to come from somewhere. I gotta cut costs.

It was definitely not a DVD. I remember seeing that stupid movie shortly after the woman told me about it, anticipating a good movie and wow did it suck.

No, I don't think it is a sign of early senility just perhaps impatience.