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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Live365.com: Love you so much I want to puke!

Dear Live365.com,

I'm glad you didn't bother to reply to my e-mail a week ago asking what happened to my listener statistics. That 8 point font you used on the stats page to guide me here really did the trick, once I got a new prescription for my glasses. So thanks! You guys are incredible!

Also, I was thinking, since you ain't giving us stats, and stats is one of your advertised features, maybe you could reduce the amount of pop-up ads on my station from about 5 million to about an even mil?

Or perhaps you could stop chopping off the beginning of my broadcasts that I'm paying for, so that you could plug your station and live off the fat of your advertisers.

It's just a suggestion. That's all. But you're doing a fantastic job, and you're really, really creating friendly-as-hell environment for your paying customers. So thanks!

Oh, and one other thing: Perhaps instead of burying my station in your directory, so that you have to click about 18 pages worth of listings to find my station, you can base my directory listing position on my genre rank. That way, you could make even more money off me from advertising, and I could benefit, because I could attract even more listeners.

Just some friendly suggestions while you programming geniuses are out there feverishly working on giving me back my listener stats. I know you've been working on this problem for a week, so it must be a real toughy. If you need any help, I once took a correspondence course in relational databases. It was a very well respected correspondence school, and I passed with flying colors. Perhaps your programmers didn't graduate from a correspondence school that was nearly as respected as mine, and that's why they're taking so long. Perhaps I can send you a coupon for some cake and ice-cream, in order to ease your burden. Nothing like a little cake and ice-cream party to raise your spirits. Or perhaps I can buy a CD for you to listen and dance to while you work. How about some Eminem? Or if you prefer something more traditional, perhaps a nice AC/DC. You just let me know, and I'm here to help you!

Sincerely,

Dickie Richards

http://talkwarrior.com

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