Coffee Jedis and rock stars

From craigslist:

Coffeehouse Hiring Coffee Jedi

“Do you see customer service as an art? Pulling espresso as a ninja craft? Can you stand on one leg, pull and espresso, and wax both on and off at the same time?”

Coffee Jedi? They don’t even post their wages and they expect enthusiastic workers. Nobody wants to be a fucking coffee Jedi.

I get so tired of junk, low-wage job ads looking for “rock stars.”  “Rock star” is apparently a new term that has entered the job ad lexicon. It does not mean a rock star musician. It means someone who is going to really give the employers a big bang for their buck, like a coffee Jedi.

Real rock stars get paid well. They get some good benefits also, like their genitals sucked and licked by their groupies at no cost. They also get free drugs from their fans. It’s not full drug coverage, but it’s something. Minimum wage jobs advertising for rock star workers offer no drug coverage whatsoever. You get nothing from these assholes. You’re just fucking cattle to these people, and they want you to be a rock star.

Another thing I notice from looking at these junk jobs is that the ads often start out like this: “XYZ company was rated number 1 in customer service by….” What they don’t understand is that minimum wage workers don’t give a flying fuck about what a wonderful business their potential employer has.