Teaching House Barcelona CELTA Part 2: “Do people fail?”

Today we look at more of the linguistic atrocities committed by Teaching House Barcelona. Teaching House Barcelona gives CELTA courses. You can see more TH Barcelona linguistic atrocities in Part 1.

(The quoted text, taken from Teaching House Barcelona, is in red. Here is the original source.)

“Hard work to complete course work and learn concepts, as well as stress and time management, are all vital skills to ensure students' success.”

• “Hard work to complete course work and learn concepts?” This construction may make sense to someone who lives in some distant galaxy. It makes no sense on earth.
  
• “[W]ork” and “stress” are not “skills.”
  
• The infinitive phrase “to ensure students’ success” is inappropriate. A relative clause should be used instead.
  
• “Hard work,” “stress,” and “time management,” don’t “ensure students’ success.” These people don’t understand what the word “ensure” means.

“If a trainee is in risk of failing the course, we provide early warning and a very clear outline of what the candidate needs to do to improve their teaching and obtain a pass grade.”

• “[I]n risk of failing” is inappropriate. “In danger of failing” can be used.
  
• Missing preposition before “early.”
  
• “[C]andidate” is a singular noun. “[T]heir” is a plural pronoun. This is an agreement error. Good job, TH Barcelona. Good job, Cambridge ESOL, for letting these assholes teach people how to teach English.

Teaching House Boston: A better class of illiterate CELTA trainers

Here is the photo of Boston that Teaching House Boston shows on its web page. I come from Boston. Boston is not a beautiful city, but it is not ugly. I am somewhat awed by how ugly this school managed to make Boston look. I am not completely sure that this is Boston.



(The quoted text from Teaching House Boston is in red. Here is the original source.)

“Offered in Boston (in the heart of the historic district,) Teaching House's CELTA training course is hosted at Faneuil Hall…”

The comma should not be placed inside the parentheses.
There is this remarkable invention that tells people where to put things like commas. It’s called a style guide. Teaching House Boston might want to consider buying one.

They all hold a CELTA and either the DELTA (Diploma in English Language Teaching to Adults) and/or a Master’s degree in Education.”

They all hold certificates or degrees that one is supposed to be impressed by, but can they all use conjunctions? The above sentence uses a either…and/or correlative conjunction. Maybe this type of conjunction exists on planets in the far reaches of the galaxy, where the members of the staff of Teaching House Boston probably come from, but on earth, English does not have such a conjunction.

“The combination of our rigorous course standards and the accreditation provided by the University of Cambridge ensures that our teachers go on to obtain desirable teaching jobs whether they choose to teach English in the United States or teach English abroad.”

The authors do not understand what the word “ensure” means. There is absolutely no guarantee that course graduates will obtain “desirable teaching jobs.” The only thing that Teaching House Boston can ensure about its CELTA course is that students will be $2,500 poorer after they pay for the course.

Get the prestigious CELTA certificate in San Francisco and murder the English language

 
“Our English Language School in San Francisco have earned an enviable reputation for providing their program participants and graduates with a wide range of professional Job Guidance Services.” (Original source for this quote)

‘[E]nviable reputation?’ Maybe among the illiterate, English Language School San Francisco’s reputation is enviable.

The quote above has agreement problems. “School” is a singular noun, and it is being used with the verb “have.” You can’t do that! In addition, the pronoun standing in for singular “school” is plural “their.”

The teaching experts at English Language School San Francisco might also want to keep in mind that in the United States we have this thing called the serial comma. The teaching experts at this school might have heard about this comma; it’s all the rage. In fact, it’s fairly standard. Accordingly, the teaching experts at English Language School San Francisco might want to think about using this comma in their advertising, so they do not look like limey trained idiots being shipped in from overseas to teach a formulaic EFL training course to Americans at the bottom of the food chain.

Good job, English Language School San Francisco. Keep churning out those CELTA certified English language teaching experts! And good for you, Cambridge, for pissing on the legacy of Newton and Darwin and Hawking by letting these chuckleheads use your logo. Good job selling my language as if it were a cheap whore.

(This is a copy I made of the original source on July 21, 2012:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=1zcSSrFUYXhHgruVveLLyTJ4XK-5XGUYoj24Lxd-gZ2hi9W5BrEUGs7PtzTualLjCuyFgZkyxwXSpOv1R)