Letter to LA Woman

LA Woman,

You have not been reading my blog. I had a very bad date. But it's not that. Things like bad dates just sort of set you off. This recession is really making me poor. I'm in little danger right now of being on the street but it sort of blew my dreams of escaping this shit, humiliating life that I live of subsidized housing and handouts. I'm also getting rapidly older. I'm running out of time and money. It is a race you see, because if I don't start the family soon, my window of opportunity will be over. I will not be able to attract 36 year olds for much longer. I've decided that I don't really want female companionship or to even use their bodies for sex. These things don't interest that much anymore. I used to believe in love but now I think that it is just pure fucking shit. I want to exploit women for their reproductive ability. This probably sounds horrible, especially since you are a woman, but this is who I am, an exploiter of women. I would certainly be loyal to them and any children they created with me. I am not a complete sleaze.

Regarding your BF, you don't need to listen to your friends and family. You don't have to listen to anyone just because they hold some authority. The only person you really need to listen to is you. I'm pretty sure you complained about buying your BF dinner. It's okay, you could complain to me. That's what friends are for. But please be sweet to him.

It was just one person at Badsumo really who wigged. But it was my own own fault. I shouldn't be posting there. I was looking for trouble. I tend to alienate people and poison relationships. People tend to disgust me and I can't help myself sometimes.

Don't worry about signing up with your real name at Badsumo. It's a private site.

I'm going to send the screenplay to your e-mail address.

Take care.