I blew it

I had Ji-ho. I had her laughing so loud it hurt my ears. It was easy to make Ji-ho laugh, not because she was stupid but because she was smart. Stupid people don't get my humor. I didn't question Ji-ho's intelligence. I questioned her judgment. And I challenged her, and judged her. She was Harvard educated as an English major. She had gone to film school after that. She wanted to make movies but gave up when she came to the realization that the money just wasn't there and opted instead for the safety of a straight life. What kind of a naive idiot goes to film school? At least at film school you would think that they would study Werner Herzog, but she did not even know who he was. What kind of a person who wants to make movies does not even know about Herzog?

I was a little put off when she started talking about wanting to see Julia Robert's latest work, but I didn't say anything. But once she started talking about Sylvester Stallone being a good actor and how it was hard to play a stupid person, I just had to put my foot down and seriously disagree with her evaluation of Stallone's acting ability. But then she said, in her defense, that "Rocky" was written by Stallone, as if I didn't know this, and as if this was support for her assertion that Stallone is a smart and talented person. And I just had to slip in that before Stallone did "Rocky" he was doing PORNOGRAPHY. It was said snidely. She did not have a proper come back for this and was somewhat dumbfounded. But did say later that I believed in the stereotype of Stallone being stupid. I didn't think that was a fair assessment of me. I don't know if Stallone is stupid. But there has been nothing that Stallone has done on or off camera that has ever impressed me.

The future of our relationship was over after our Stallone confrontation. In about 30 seconds, everything derailed for both of us.

I blew it. She was telling me about this great-sounding Korean food that I wanted to try, but now probably never will. She had a good, child-bearing body, 37 years old, still reproductively viable with Grade A Ivy League DNA, laughed liked hell at my jokes, smiled at me, seemed like a sweet person, but Christ how can I spend the rest of my life with someone who likes Julia Roberts and Sylvester Stallone and gives up on her artistic dreams of filmmaking because she's unwilling to put up with a little poverty? She was a woman of small dreams. I have always found that people who play it safe and don't follow their dreams to be a big turn-off.

Good Christ I could have had this woman. If only I could have played it cool I could have been fucking a nice hot woman with breasts, brains ... the whole nine yards. The only thing she lacked was taste. Why do I judge? I am some kind of an incredible asshole. Fuck me!