I thought I had patched things up with Ji-ho, but now I'm convinced that she was just trying to get rid of me using elaborate lies that women often resort to. There were two things that struck me as odd during our phone convo. The first was that she said that I should know that she doesn't normally accept Unknown numbers. I told her I was using Skype to call her, that it was my business line (which is true) and that I would apply a telephone ID to the number (which I had been wanting to do anyway.) It seemed odd though that she said that. She had accepted my phone calls at that number before. Now I recognize that she was trying to identify me so that she could ignore any future calls. Also, when I said I would get back to her on trying to obtain the meeting place, why did she assume that I would get back to her tomorrow? Why not that day? Let me tell you why. Because a whole elaborate scheme had been concocted in her mind to ignore my phone call the next day, when I usually call, and this detail hadn't entered into it. It's hard to effectively lie. There's always little details that betray you. That's why I don't lie. Not because it's immoral but because my brain simply doesn't work fast enough to process all the details.
I was relieved that I didn't have to see Ji-ho again, but I went through a lot of trouble scouting the location to meet her, actually driving out there, and I just wished that she'd have made her real intentions more obvious, though I didn't mind if she needed to make up a bullshit story, so long as it's obvious, such as I'm busy with school now. Who knows? She might even return my voice mail, and this is the writings of a paranoid, but I put 5 to 1 odds that I'm right. I think that I was put off by the fact that she never thanked me after all the food and tea I bought her. I know I pushed her too hard. But she judged me too by saying that I bought the Stallone stereotype. I don't even know what the Stallone stereotype is. I just think he's a bad actor.
Elisabeth wrote me back. She was the beautiful 33 year old that canceled yesterday's date because she needed more time to pack for her trip to Ireland. I said yesterday that I was glad that Elisabeth canceled, but it was only because of the trauma of my date with Ji-ho. Elisabeth doesn't even enter the realm of my fantasies. In order for a fantasy to be a fantasy, there has to be some sliver of potential that it could be a reality, but there is just too big an age difference between us. It's just not going to happen. But I would still like to meet her. She was very quirky, making me provide a thesis for an obscure 19th century poem, though not to bust my balls. It was an easy poem. She was just feeling me out and also sharing something about herself. I thought it was very sweet and cool. She said crazy shit in her letters to me like when I was going to meet her, she said, "I will be there with bells on." What the fuck does that mean? Who cares? I love women like that who aren't afraid to be crazy. I believed her story about her needing to devote time to pack. I suspect I'll be hearing from her later at some point. Maybe I could adopt her as my daughter. We could do father daughter stuff that I've always wanted to do. I could teach her how to throw a curve ball, take her to Red Sox games, give her fatherly advice such as stay the fuck away from men.
Felicia, the 37 year old who grew up on a hippie commune didn't get back to me. I'm glad. She never seemed terribly enthusiastic. She listed herself as a bisexual. On the very first post she's telling me about how she "was blown out of the water at all the curvy goddesses" in New Orleans. I suspected this woman was very heavily into women and men were just perhaps an afterthought.
So that's it. I'm out of women to go out with. And I haven't been really working on trying to obtain more. I think that I need to go on a serious alcohol and eating binge tomorrow in order to forget the horror of most of these women, and also my work, which I cannot get done because I spend so much time and mental energy working on women. I'm also completely broke. Nobody's buying in this economy. I need to take a break from women for at least a week. I have decided that I am probably going to sign up to play softball this Spring/Summer. This in itself takes up a lot of time, energy, and resources, that I worried would take away from dating. But now I really don't think I give a shit anymore. Hitting home runs isn't nearly as good as fucking, but it's fun. And you get way more love.
I think when I get back to dating there is going to be some new rules imposed. Here's what I'm thinking:
-No more women with children. These women tend to be more difficult to deal with. They are a large sap on time and resources. And why shouldn't I have someone who is completely devoted to me? I deserve this.
-No more women with either "Dharma", or "Bodhi" in their names or phrases like "eternal optimist", "see the cup as half full", in their profile. These women are walking cliche's and a huge waste of time. They're not right for me. I was already honoring these rules but I tended to stray. I think that I will also exclude vegetarians, vegans, environmentalists, and anyone else who is single-handedly saving the world but not lifting a finger to help the homeless.
-No more women from Brookline or Newton. I was already honoring this rule but strayed and paid. I am strongly considering adding Cambridge to this list. The so-called "People's Republic of Cambridge" is just a bunch of neo-yuppie assholes now.
-No more writing Yahoo personals women as they never ever write back. For now on, I will use the Yahoo women only as a device to screen out women on other dating sites who I recognize from Yahoo. I will also familiarize myself very well with the Yahoo population as all of these woman are snobby assholes that need to be stayed away from.
-No more strong opinions voiced on dates. If a woman has very bad taste or bad ideas, I will no longer call her on it. I will just smile, nod my head in understanding, and move on.
-No more buying women anything more than coffee, tea or drinks on first dates. This is the rule that I just haven't been able to follow and I have paid dearly for. I simply cannot afford to blow over fifty bucks on first dates anymore.
-For now on, unless the woman is very young, or exceptionally interesting, I will only ask out the best looking women. This may seem counterintuitive, but beautiful women are not significantly harder to obtain dates with than average looking women. I suspect this is because men are simply afraid to ask them out. And also, average looking women give you the same amount of shit and bad attitude as good looking women, and are equally as boring. So why bother? If I'm going to have my time wasted and be humiliated, better it be with a good looking woman. Good looking women are simply nicer to look at, and it's not as humiliating to be rejected or treated like shit by them.
-For now on I am going to start writing to women who don't understand grammar or spelling at all, and who don't even try to use a spell checker for some odd reason. I have always told myself that bourgeois women are wrong for me. I cannot have my cake and eat it too. I probably have a lot more in common with uneducated women because they're poorer. This will also increase the size of my dating pool.
-I am extending my mileage radius from 20 to 35 miles. This will be more expensive and take more time and energy, but fuck it. I need to increase my dating pool.
-I will probably change my religious designation from Jewish back to atheist. While being designated as Jewish has succeeded in getting me more dates, I have very little in common with Jewish women.
I'm sure there is more stuff I can think of. When I'm binging on soup and beer at the Watch City Brewery, I'll brew up some more ideas on how I can more effectively deal with the madness of dating.
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