Are people who shop pricks, or is this a new thing?

Finally, I decided to brave the crowds yesterday for the Massachusetts sales tax holiday. I rarely ever shop on the weekends. I like to shop on off hours to avoid crowds.

I was in BJ’s, and what I could not get over was how, in BJs, there is all this space in the aisles, yet people drive their carts, sometimes with that God-awful car extension for their bastard brood (shown in the photo above), right in the middle of the fucking aisle. And no one looks behind. They are completely oblivious to the fact that other people also live in the universe, and that these other people might want to get by them as they debate over which five gallon bottle of olive oil to buy.

One scene that I think has been indelibly etched into my memory was the family at the far left aisle of the store where the tuna is. Their cart was right in the middle of the fucking aisle. A balding yet good-looking father was on the left of the wagon, hogging up all the floor space to the left, and his wife and two kids were hogging up the floor space on the right. The woman had enormous breasts. Even more impressive than her breasts was the sturdiness of her legs. While her legs were not unattractive, they were not the sexiest legs that a woman could have. They were not made for window dressing. They were made for climbing mountains and walking vast distances in search of food and water. This woman was a baby making machine. She could not only feed multiple offspring with her enormous breasts, she could, with her sturdy legs, find the calories necessary to keep her babies alive and her making more babies. She was an evolutionary powerhouse.

I understand that there is a pecking order. There are winners, and they get the pleasure rewards of victory. They realize that pleasure is not an unlimited resource, and they want it all. That is the natural order of things. I understand that. What bothers me is that it is not enough for these assholes to marginalize the losers in order to get jobs that pay a living wage, have sex, reproduce, and hog up all the housing. They must also hog up ALL THE FUCKING FLOOR SPACE. There is nothing that these assholes won’t take away from the loser, and they’re not even doing it deliberately. They don’t decide to be selfish. They behave like assholes because they are assholes. It is in their nature. It is probably written in their fucking DNA.

There is another thing that I’ve noticed. People who are in their 50’s and 60’s now think it’s okay to knock their carriage into you while you’re waiting in the checkout line. Last week I was waiting in line in Walmart, and some asshole brushed his carriage against what I was holding. It happened a second time. I was getting really angry. I stuck something that I was carrying out a foot to block the carriage. If it happened again, I was going to seriously wig. I really wasn’t sure if this guy was doing this intentionally or not. In BJ’s yesterday, a woman kept inching her wagon precariously close to my ass. I watched her like a hawk. You gotta watch your back. It’s an animal factory, and there are women with enormous breasts and sturdy legs perpetually breeding more animals. It is sort of like the queen in the movie Aliens, only not as grotesque.