Low art

I realize now that not only do I hate dating but despise the women I ask out on dates. I don't want them. I often don't even desire them sexually. They disgust and bore me. I am often confounded by how I even go about writing these boring bourgeois assholes. They all sound and by-and-large look fairly unimpressive. And the self-proclaimed artists will never ever have anything to do with me. Are they really artists? If they were wouldn't they be moved by or at least show some curiosity in the contradictions of my personality and existence? They must be high-artists, for I am low-art.

How do I write people who seem so uninteresting and/or unbeatiful? I resent the bullshit they put me through. I resent how I am supposed to feign interest in their boring little profiles and their boring little lives that sound like everyone else's. I resent how I am supposed to know them through an e-mail dialog. The e-mail dialog as well as the profile tells me nothing about them other than they are shitty writers. Occasionally they'll show enthusiasm after the first e-mail I send them. But in the second e-mail I always pounce -- I ask if they would like to have coffee. I think it freaks women out because they often never write back after this. What do they expect me to do, engage a person I have never met and only know through a profile? Are they fucking kidding me? Why should I get excited over someone I've never met before? Why do they expect me to? Many of these women I have little to no desire to fuck. Are they thinking in their tiny little fucking brains that my unwillingness to engage them in an interminable dialog of e-mail bullshit is some sort of sign that I'm out to exploit them sexually? They have no idea how little desire I have to recreationally fuck women. If I'm going to be fucking a women, there better be a pretty damn good reason behind it. Otherwise it is a waste of my valuable time.

I'm not cut out for this dating business. I'm getting too old and I have lost too much patience.