Back in the wilderness

About the time that I was almost sure that I should quit dating and move to Plan B, I received this message:

Hello, nowomannolove,

You were in my "quiver."

You can take a look at my profile and write back if interested in chatting a little.

Take care,
Megan

I was amazed that Megan, a beautiful 36 year old had actually solicited me. Even ugly 36 don't usually solicit me. But as you can see there is this talk of "chatting" and I knew she was a long shot. I'm not sure if women want online chats when they say this or phone chats, but I've had enough fucking anxiety for one lifetime for women and their fucking job interviews. Fuck them. I don't care how young and how beautiful they are -- they want to chat with me, they could do it in the flesh -- lazy assholes. This woman probably lives nor more than a few miles away from me, which is why I suggested Watch City Brewery.

Hi Megan,

I'm terribly flattered that you contacted me as you're beautiful. I would be interested in chatting. I am not a fast talker. I talk slowly, so you will need to go easy on me. I took a course with Jack Levin. Having studied a sociology you've probably heard of him. Would you like to have coffee or a beer with me? Maybe Watch City Brewing Company in Waltham or whatever place you like.

-Ed

By the way, she mentioned being a fast talker in her profile. that is what that was all about. It's been two days. She won't get back to me. I knew it was a waste of time the moment she mentioned this "chat" bullshit. Fuck women with their lazy ass chatting. Don't they know that you must be gay to be a good phone-chatter? Heterosexuals are visual animals. We need to see the mouth and the breasts and the smile and the facial expressions and the whole nine yards. We can't relate to this auditory shit. It's like random noise to us. It's treading water in the middle of the ocean. We're completely overwhelmed. I have nothing against the penis, but you must really like the penis in order to be good over the phone.

So I will at some time, when I can muster up the guts, remove my profiles. It will be very lonely. I will be back in the wilderness again. I've never actually had a profile up for such a long run. It was a good six month run. I always end up removing it, because I always come to the realization that trying to find a woman without a real job is a fucking useless waste of time.

I had thought about turning my personal ad into a sex personal, by only checking off that I'm looking for intimate encounters. This idea revolts me in a myriad of different ways. I don't like to lower myself in this way for sex. I don't want to touch these disgusting sex pervs who fuck multiple sex partners or are emotional screw-ups that can't handle relationships. Half of these women are probably bipolar. Is it ethical to screw a woman who wants to screw you only because she's mad? This is very gray area. Maybe by going sex personal I am not lowering myself so long I do not respond. Maybe it's payback. Maybe it's a way of saying to the universe -- I'm only here to fuck you. I will need to consider this.

As for Cheryl, my new thinking is, fuck her! Why should I build her up in my mind like this? Yes, I should have been cooler. I am very imperfect, but I am not a bad person. I tried to patch things up. I think she could have cut me a little slack. She wanted me to cut her a lot of slack and go about a very non-traditional dating route. I don't think she is going to do better than me at her age. If she can't handle me, then fuck her. I'm forgetting her already. I should have taken my own advise in The Loser's Guide to Survival sooner:

a.) Don't look back.

b.) Never get too upset over a woman.