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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Personal ad written for LA WOMAN

Dear LA WOMAN,

I've taken the liberty of writing you a personal ad profile for FastCupid. I have designed it to draw family oriented men like me and scare off the players. I'm fairly confident that expressing love for babies will scare the hell out of players. Yeah, it might even scare off some non-players, but if they're so fucking uptight about babies they really shouldn't be meeting someone who likes them. Try it. See what happens.


WHY SHOULD YOU GET TO KNOW ME

I am very modest. I don't feel the need to brag about my 147 IQ or about how incredibly cute I used to be before I discovered the deliciousness of deep-fried foods. (I am going to be hitting the gym more regularly so you should expect to see my cuteness make a serious come back!) I'm also very shy. I'm so shy that I didn't even write this personal ad. A lifer at Quentin wrote it for me. He is my friend. And he was wrongly accused! And he knows people on the outside who can make you have a very bad day if you don't pay for my latte on our first date. (If we get to a second date I think we can negotiate a more egalitarian arrangement about who picks up the latte tab.)

I love babies. I love their teeny-tiny toes and their great big eyes. There. I've said it. What is so wrong about loving children and wanting to create them? I know how difficult it is for women my age to have children, but I still want to try -- with a loving husband of course! If I can't have children then that's okay too. I am a terribly sweet person, a progressive, well-read, and obsessed with Pinkberry. (It's a Korean thing.) At the risk of sounding too 70's, I have a lot of love to give.



MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR

I'm looking for what I think most women are looking for. Regular stuff such as romance, adventure, fun, and feeling loved. In addition I'm looking for someone who is childless, who desires to have children, but like me, would be okay if that didn't happen. Oh, one more thing: Please be a liberal.

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