Ceding from Red Sox Nation

The Red Sox are 2007 World Champions. They swept the Rockies in the most boring World Series ever conceived by man.

Then the Red Sox came home to jam up traffic in Boston for half the day for a parade. Idiots are said have been reserving their spot on the parade route since 3:00 a.m.

The duck boats carrying the Red Sox rolled by blasting confetti. Who's going to clean that shit up, I thought. The Red Sox? No. I don't think so. More likely The City of Boston is outsourcing this to some cleaning outfit that pays poor foreigners minimun wage. Who's going to pay for the huge police presence? The Red Sox? Don't think so...

Some excited, grizzly old man in Boston tells a reporter, "We won!"

"We" didn't win shit, old man. They [The Red Sox] won. They are a privately owned team. You had nothing to do with their victory, and you will not reap any rewards from it. You had a lot to do with all the money the Red Sox raked in though.

A reporter talks about how great the Red Sox are and attributes it to the diversity of the team. He says now there are Latinos and African Americans. What planet has this guy been on? There have always been Latinos on the team. Does the name Louis Tiant ring a bell? While he's right about there always being a lack of African Americans on the team, there is currently no African Americans on the team! There hasn't been a single African American on the team for three years. He might be including Ortiz as an African American because of his dark skin. But Ortiz is from the Dominican Republican. Not the United States. He is not an African American. Is Ortiz even a naturalized American citizen? I don't know? Does the chucklehead reporter know? Doubt it. At a minimum, I think it is an incredible stretch to include Ortiz as an African American. While it's true that the team now has a greater representation from other religious/ethnic groups such as Jewish and Native American, they have less African Americans than they've ever had. The Red Sox always had one or two token African Americans. Now they have none, and NOBODY is talking about it. In fact we're pretending that there are African Americans on the team. It's amazing.

But look at all that the Red Sox are doing for kids. Poor inner city kids get to watch free Red Sox games in the "Dunkin' Donuts Dugout" section of the bleachers. They get to wear oversized Dunkin' Donuts tea-shirts, with a big stupid Dunkin' Donuts billboard over their head. And they get to be on TV too. They're live participants in the Dunkin' Donuts' advertising campaign. Dunkin' Donuts and the Red Sox really restore my faith in humanity.

I missed perhaps two or three Red Sox games in the 2007 season. Perhaps in 2008 I'll miss some more.