Moshe "Moses" Moscovitz

Moshe "Moses" Moscovitz was born in 1965 to an American mother living at the time in the Falkland Islands, which was, at the time, part of Argentina before the British Royal Navy came in 1982, killed everyone who opposed them, and declared the Falklands part of their petty, crumbling, piss-ant empire.

Moshe is known by many in Central and South America as the "Jewish Che Guevara" because of his revolutionary zeal and the fact that like Che Guevara, Moshe is also from Argentina. In the United States, Moshe is commonly known as the "Scourge of Limbaugh," because of his ruthless verbal assault on the Dittoheaded masses.

George W. Bush
"There is a connection between Moshe Moscovitz and the 9/11 terrorist attacks. We shall stay the course against the enemy which is Moshe, and we shall prevail. Don't think you can misunderestimate me, Mr. Moscovitz!"

Dick Cheney
"Moshe Moscovitz, that rotten cocksuckin' motherfucker piece of shit."

Andy Kaufman
"Moshe Moscovitz is my bastard child."

Elvis Presley
"Moshe Moscovitz is my bastard child."

Rush Limbaugh
"Moshe Moscovitz is nobody's bastard child. He's just a bastard."

Abbie Hoffman
"Moshe Moscovitz stole my book, 'Steal this Book.' The bastard."

The Dalai Lama
"I'm not a violent man, but whenever I hear that Moshe Moscovitz guy, I want to kick his ass so hard, that he'll taste his asshole."

Satan
"I like Moshe Moscovitz. He's a nice guy. I would've treated him like a king in hell. Given him a harem of beautiful women to have sex with for all eternity. But the goddamn son-of-a-bitch just refuses to assist the Republican Party. He's a serious obstruction to the age of darkness I'm trying to bring about on earth, and I just don't know what to do about him. Perhaps he's gay. Maybe if I offer him a harem full of handsome men..."

God
"Many people have asked me whether Moshe is the Messiah. And this I will not tell you. But what I will say is that Moshe is most certainly the King of the Jews. God bless Moshe."