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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Update on the loser, Michael Phillips

I did a nine part series about a loser named Michael Phillips.

I have some recent information to report about this piece of human garbage.

He now owns Bukowski.net, where there’s an ad on his main page linking to a book on Amazon called Charles Bukowski's Scarlet, printed by a no-name publisher. Michael Phillips is the first to leave his comment on Amazon and, as one would expect of one who makes money off of the very product he is reviewing, gives it an excellent review. I would not be surprised if Phillips was involved in publishing this book. I have never read this book; I have no interest in assholes like Phillips who exploit Bukowski’s name for profit.

Other interesting facts that I’ve learned about Phillips are that not only does he sell his own book, alternative man, on Amazon, but he also writes a glowing review about it on Amazon. I feel bad for any poor bastards who might actually have bought this book. Phillips’ Bukowski derivative poetry really sucks giant elephant penis. I would show you some examples on the Internet, but Phillips seems to have removed these examples after I previously pointed them out.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

E-mail to an old friend

Hi Monique!

I'm still alive, and I still worry about you -- you were sort of like an adopted daughter to me.

Are you still in Boston, in law school?

I am not in Eastern Europe yet, but plan to go to Hungary in April for an EFL course. I still need to pass the interview. I am very good at botching EFL interviews, having botched two for the Boston course.

I have taken up being an alcoholic and buy beer not by the six pack or even case, but by the 30 can suitcase like a maniac. If they sold beer by the crate, I'd gladly buy it, as I need to drink in volume in order to stay sane so that I can study English grammar, which no one in their right mind would or should do.

How are you?

-Dickie

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Not runnin’ on Dunkin’

Dunkin' Donuts advertising that "America runs on Dunkin'" is an egregiously blatant lie! I ordered an extra large Dunkin' Donuts coffee in order to wake myself out of my zombie-like stupor so that I could get some work done. Drinking the coffee was like drinking a tall glass a water.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

On the reservation (mostly)

The Foxwoods casino in Mashantucket, Connecticut now lets me stay at their hotel for free, two nights a week. (The privileges of playing poker.)

View of the MGM Grand from my hotel room in the Hotel Grand Pequot Tower.

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This is the only hotel I’ve ever stayed in that I haven’t hated. It was quite fancy, clean, quiet, and everything worked.

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Two plump virgin toilet paper rolls – how often do you see that?

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In case you need to make a phone call while indulging in all the toilet paper they give you.

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That’s brass, baby!

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View from hotel room.

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Another view.

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Ceramic coffee mugs!

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Real glass cups! Was I in hotel heaven or what?

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Isn’t it cool how they stack ‘em?

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You can buy "The X-Files" on demand for $20.00. I love the "X-Files" ... but wait a minute, that's not Agent Mulder -- and if you look really closely, that's not Agent Scully -- and that's not really the "X-Files" - it's "The Sex Files." What a gyp....

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It really makes me nervous that people have watched pornography in the same bed that I'm sleeping in....

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Pequot Museum, near the casino; still on the reservation. I loved the crap out of this place!

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I spent three hours here and ran out of time; I didn't get to see a lot of the museum. I really, really loved the crap out of this place.

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View of casino from the museum tower.

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Shadow of museum tower.

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Another view from the museum tower.

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View from museum tower.

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This is one of the few places in the museum where they let me take photos.

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Shot off the reservation, coming home; I'm pretty sure that this guy didn't vote for Obama.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The other Bridges

I worry about Jeff Bridges' brother, Beau Bridges. Unlike Jeff who is a handsome, well-respected, and well-known actor, Beau has scary eyebrows and is only vaguely remembered as Jeff's brother in "The Faboulous Baker Boys." I worry about Beau; I worry about his mental stability. If I were Beau, I would need some hard-core pharmacological agents in order to stay straight.

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