I'm not a sex offender!

Just because I look like I should be listed in the National Sex Offender Registry, it doesn't make me a sex offender. I happen to have a good, well-paying job at the FCC, stripping people of their 1st Amendment Rights. In fact, I'm FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps. So don't even fuck with me, unless you happen to be into watching Sesame Street, and are really, really young, and really, really cute, and have an affinity for pig tails.