Hi, my name is Michael K. Powell, and I'm not just a nerdy, fat asshole. I'm Chairman of the FCC. My last name is probably familiar to you. My daddy happens to be Colin Powell, former Secretary of State. But I assure you, it's not nepotism. I work hard to piss on the first amendment. And I'm succeeding! When that Janet Jackson woman showed her horrifying breast on national TV, I nearly went into convulsions, because the site of a naked woman horrifies me! (Although I wouldn't pass up a nice sleek penis -- between you and me).
If you don't mind, I have to take a shit and wipe my ass with the constitution. But first, perhaps I'll have some more of this delicious cheesecake...
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