A brave general

General Frank Parker quickly greeting airmen before racing off to the nearest donut shop. If General Parker does not constanty stuff his fat face with donuts, he is at risk of going into shock from donut withdrawal.

Capt. Derek Dunbar euthanizing obese child

Capt. Derek Dunbar is seen here suffocating to death obese child, Timothy Cartwell. Capt. Dunbar told reporters after euthanizing the child:

"I saved the poor little fatty the torment of being mocked and ridiculed by his peers. I don't have any regrets about killing the kid. I consider it a moral obligation, like dropping bombs on Iraqi babies."

Airmen at work

Staff Sgt. Ben Knucklesworth (left) and Master Sgt. Jack Kampy enjoying some of the web's sleaziest pornography.

Live from Mt. Sinai cancelled this week

Please note that the show scheduled for tomorrow will be cancelled due to equipment failure as well as an existential crisis that Moshe is having. The show will be rescheduled for next week.

Satan incarnate

I am Satan. The White House is my Church. Bring me sacrifices of your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, so that I may devour them.

Johnny "The Pimp" Depp

The man below used to be known as Johnny Depp. But now, if you do not call him by the name, Johnny "The Pimp" Depp, or The King of Pimp, he will instruct his bodyguards to do a tap-dance on your face. I'd do what he says if you know what's good for you...

Quentin Tarantino's starring role...

Quentin Tarantino has the starring role in his upcoming film, "A Man Called Squid Face."

Miss Anerexia World Competition

Hungry women of all nations are seen here competing in the Miss Anerexia World Competition. The competition is judged entirely by a panel of homosexual men and sadists.

Show Summary: 05-15-2005

Show Rating: 9 out of 10

Summary:
Moshe and Reverend Vic debate Ward Churchill's controversial essay, "Some People Push Back: On the Justice of Roosting Chickens." Moshe also professes his love for table tennis star, Biba.

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Shock and Awe, Dillon style

Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, there is the sudden shock of knowing just how incredibly handsome I am. And then there is a period of awe that sometimes lasts for hours, as I gaze upon my handsomeness.

Kiss wedge

A woman is seen here who became accidentally wedged between Robert Downy Jr. and Val Kilmer as they spontaneously attempted to kiss each other.

The woman, who did not want to be identified, told a TalkWarrior.com reporter:

"I didn't mind at all having my head stuck between their lips, it felt kinda good. But they were pretty snippy towards me because I screwed up their make out session."

Space rat found

The space rat shown below is the first documented encounter with an alien species. Scientists are unsure how the space rat got to earth. Some claim that it is similar to an earth rat and traveled here by stowing away on an alien ship that landed here at some point. However other scientists argue that, although it doesn't seem to communicate through language as we know it, the space rat has an IQ of at least 900 and that he was one of the crew of the alien spacecraft.

Professor Peabrainer of Northeastern University told the TalkWarrior.com investigative reporting team:

"We know that the space rat has a preference for defecating on journals of theoretical physics as opposed to more banal literature such as People Magazine. This strongly suggests that we're dealing with a highly intelligent and evolved life form."

Salma Hayek imposter posing on the red carpet

While the woman in the photo below may look like Salma Hayek, this is not Salma Hayek, it is an imposter. Salma Hayek does not have freakishly large breasts. The investigative reporting team at TalkWarrior.com has uncovered that the person in the photo is really a member of a space alien race with freakishly large breasts who, for reasons which have yet to be uncovered, has abducted Ms. Hayek and recruited a space-alien imposter to pose as her.

Pathetic Star Wars fanatic

When he is not fighting imaginary enemies with his red light saber, this pathetic Star Wars fanatic uses his light saber to pleasure himself. It is the closest he will ever come to having sex.

David S.C. Chu, Man from another planet

Because of his malformed head and brain, it has been suggested that Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, David S.C. Chu (shown below) is from outer space. Mr. Chu categorically denies these claims and states that his malformed head is a result of a tragic accident that occurred when his head got stuck in a vise. The investigative reporting team at TalkWarrior.com were unable to confirm Mr. Chu's story.

Gimmee love Putina

An exhilarated Laura Bush meeting Russian First Lady, Ludmila Putina:

"Let me at ya, ya chubby little Russkie. I'm gonna hug ya so hard that it'll pump the commie right outta ya."

Wolfowitz sports his Hitler medal

Exiting Deputy Secretary of Defense, Paul Wolfowitz is seen here giving an acceptance speech upon receiving the Adolph Hitler Medal for ruthless and brazen conquest of foreign powers and murder of countless innocent civilians.

Wolfowitz told the audience:

"I am proud to have been one of the principal architects of the preemptive invasion and subsequent conquest of Iraq, but most proud of all the babies that had to be murdered to accomplish this great feat. Satan bless Amerika!"

Earn your degree!

You too can become a sexually ambiguous law enforcement officer by going to the University of Phoenix!

Show Summary: 05-08-2005

Show Rating: 7 out of 10

Summary:
Moshe berates neo-Nazis from Arkansas who are descending upon Boston today to try to stir up trouble.

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Rumsfeld thanking the Grand Ole Opry

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld receiving a warm welcome from the crowd at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville, Tennessee.

Rumsfeld told the ecstatic audience:

"Whenever you good, decent, white, patriotic Americans feel an itch to kill some towel-heads, you can always count on me."

Rummy headache

I've told so many lies that my brain hurts.

New Rush Limbaugh movie

A new biographical movie about the life of Rush Limbaugh, called "The Big Bloated Drug Addicted Bastard" is currently in production. Rush is seen below with actor Louis Lombardi who will be playing him in the upcoming film.

Rush Limbaugh with mystery woman

Rush Limbuagh seen here with well paid mystery woman after she scored him enough oxycontin to kill an elephant.

Rush Limbaugh comes out of the closet

Rush Limbaugh announcing his love for boyfriend, Jon Cassar, in a man-blouse that was worn by Liberace.

Andy Card receiving messages from outer space

Andy Card is seen here receiving messages from the mother ship.

Jesse Jackson and Terence McAuliffe slow dance

Rainbow Coalition President Jesse Jackson and and former DNC leader Terence McAuliffe are seen here together slow dancing to a Barry Manilow love song.

"Not too many people know this," said Jesse Jackson, "but Terry is one hell of a dancer. Whenever I'm in Hymietown, I hit him up and we dance the night away."

Show Summary: 05-01-2005

Show Rating: 7 out of 10

Summary:
Moshe attacks Reverend Stang of the Church of the SubGenius(TM) for insulting the integrity of his co-host, Reverend Jethro. Moving on to more serious topics, Moshe exposes the lies of Bill Gates and addresses issues of racial inequality.

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